“A 1% Chance”: Amberly Lago on Resilience, Chronic Pain, and Choosing Joy Through the Journey

[00:00:00] Introduction

[00:00:00] Amberly Lago: The doctor comes over and says, your leg, we need to amputate it. You only have a 1% chance of saving it. And in that moment, I thought, oh, so you’re saying there’s a chance 

[00:00:10] Charles Eide: joining us this week, Amber Lee Lago. I have heard stories that inspire me, but not many of them get me like your story did. 

[00:00:19] Amberly Lago: I’d been a professional dancer for 26 years and life was good.

[00:00:23] The Accident

[00:00:23] Amberly Lago: I was on my way home, bruising down the boulevard, and I see this SUV, he shot out of the parking lot. 9 1 1. There’s an accident on Boulevard. Came outta your motorcycle, just totally got smashed. I looked down at my leg and it was just crumbled into pieces. Surgery after surgery, after surgery, 34 in total, they were able to save my leg.

[00:00:47] Charles Eide: Oh my 

[00:00:47] Amberly Lago: gosh. The doctor, he said, your life is never gonna be the same. You’ve got complex regional pain syndrome. This disease is ranked highest on the pain scale. There’s no cure for this. I tried to stuff it down a long time and that only led me to a rock bottom. Our breakthrough is hiding in our breaking point.

These are the cards I’ve been dealt. It’s up to me to play the heck out of these cards. Sometimes it’s just about one perspective shift. It’s about listening to your soul or to God. That little whisper that says, there’s more. Don’t give up. The doctor who saved my leg, what he did to shift my perspective, changed my life.

He sat down in front of me and he, 

[00:01:30] Charles Eide: Amber Lee Lago, it is great to have you. Welcome to Clear for Takeoff. Oh, 

[00:01:35] Amberly Lago: I’m so happy to be here. It is amazing. Here. I wanna stay here. 

[00:01:39] Charles Eide: This is gorgeous. Well, you come back anytime you want. 

[00:01:42] Amberly Lago: It 

is 

amazing. 

[00:01:43] Charles Eide: I, uh, yeah. I have heard stories that inspire me, but not many of them get me like your story did and something big happened to you that changed your life and now you’re using it to change other people’s lives.

Can you tell me that story? 

[00:02:03] Amberly Lago: Yes, well, definitely things changed. Uh, a pretty big disruption, I guess you could say. You know, I was in the fitness industry. I’d always, I’d been a professional dancer and then in the fitness industry for 26 years and life was good and I was on my way home. I had trained clients.

I ran 11 miles that day in my best time feeling great, hop on my Harley and I was cruising down the boulevard and I see this SUV and I thought he saw me, but. Apparently he didn’t, he shot out of the parking lot, and all I could do was let off the clutch and try to jump off my bike. But it was too late. I got T-boned, I was thrown about 30 feet and I just remember sliding across the asphalt.

And when I finally came to a stop, I looked down at my leg and it was just crumbled into pieces. I mean, there was blood everywhere. I didn’t know at the time that my femoral artery was actually severed. And thank goodness, um, this stranger, this guy ran over, he took his belt off, made a tourniquet around my leg, and, um, that saved my life.

The paramedics were actually running towards me before they even got the call. They were at the coffee bean right down the street, and they heard the accident. They were running towards me. Got there, I got taken to the hospital pretty quick, and I’m in the hospital, you know, I’m taped to the gurney. And it was chaotic in there.

My husband is a cop, well he is retired now, but he was a cop. And news travels fast in the police force and the whole emergency room was full of cops. And I hear this crying and I, like, I’d never heard before. And I, I realized it’s my husband and he’s a first responder. I’d ne he’s a big strong guy. He is tall like you.

And I’d never heard him cry. And he was hysterical. And in that moment I thought, I, I might be dying. And I yelled across the er, I said, honey, get over here. I need you to be strong for me. Because in that moment I thought, if I don’t live through this, I need to know that he’s gonna be able to take care of our two kids.

And he came over and he held my hand. And that’s the last thing I remember before this nurse leaned over me and she said, we’re gonna give you something to make you feel all better now. And that was the first like sense of. Piece that I had because it was, the whole thing was so chaotic. And, um, they put me in induced coma because I’d lost so much blood and my vital organs were shutting down and they couldn’t control the pain.

And I was in a coma for a little over a week. And the first thing I learned when I woke up out of a coma, which is not fun. You’ve got Vaseline on your eyes, tubes going down your throat, and I’m trying to rip those tubes out. And they’re like, don’t, no, don’t, don’t rip those out. And a nurse said, I think she’s trying to tell us something.

And I’m like, yeah. And they brought me a pad and pen over and the first thing I write is Get off my tubes. My husband was leaning over me and cutting off the circulation. I couldn’t breathe. And so he got up, he had tears in his eyes, and then the doctor comes over and says. I’m so sorry, but there’s nothing we can do for you.

Your leg is like a war wound and we need to amputate it. You only have a 1% chance of saving it. And in that moment I thought, oh, so you’re saying there’s a chance, like there’s a chance. I said, well, we need to find a doctor who’s willing to take that chance with me. So he said, 

[00:05:34] Charles Eide: 1% means nothing. 

[00:05:36] Amberly Lago: And I’m like, and you’re like, I got 1%.

There’s still hope, there’s still a chance. And you know, they were actually gonna amputate my leg when I was in a coma and my husband said, do not touch your leg. Don’t amputate. I want that to be her decision when she wakes up out of a coma. Don’t amputate. And so, um. Thankfully he said that, and thankfully he has a good friend that is a very well-known doctor and made some calls and it took like an act of God to get me transferred to a different hospital.

But we did. And surgery, after surgery, after surgery, 34 in total, they were able to save my leg. 

[00:06:19] Charles Eide: Oh my gosh. 

[00:06:20] Amberly Lago: Yeah, it was, it was like three and a half months in the hospital the first time, but years. I mean, I just had another procedure done like four months ago. Um Oh. Recently? Mm-hmm. It’s just an ongoing thing.

Yeah. And how 

[00:06:35] Charles Eide: long ago was the accident? 

[00:06:37] Amberly Lago: 15 years ago. Wow. And I’m still going through, well. Because, you know, I thought the worst was over. I’m like, okay, I’ve grew up an athlete. Like you get through things, you heal and you move on. And I really thought resilience was going back, but I realized there was no way I was going back to my old life.

I needed to move forward and choose a different, everything different. And, um, but at the time, it was about four months after my surgery, I was going in for a doctor’s appointment and I really thought, oh, they’re gonna be so proud of me. I’m upright on crutches, I’m outta my wheelchair. And that’s when I got the news.

That was probably the worst news, uh, of my life. He looked at me, examined me and said, I’m so sorry, but. You’ve got something very serious. And I’m like, well, yeah, I got hit by an SUV. Yeah, but look, I’m upright on crutches. And he goes, are you the kind of girl that likes to push through pain? And I was like, well, yeah.

You know, I grew up in Texas. Like, suck it up, get her done. Yeah. He said, well, you need to stop. 

[00:07:46] Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Diagnosis

[00:07:46] Amberly Lago: You’ve got complex regional pain syndrome. Your life is never gonna be the same. Uh, you need to get back in your wheelchair. And I was like, okay, for how long? He said, no, forever. I don’t think you understand this.

There’s no cure for this. So this disease is ranked highest on the pain scale. Um, it’s dubbed the suicide disease. Actually November is suicide or the suicide disease. R-S-D-S-A, I just spoke at their event, but they’re the main huge, uh. Foundation that supports people with CRPS. And this month is a month to bring awareness to this.

But I’ve had so many different procedures. Um, everything from ketamine infusions when I’d never done a drug. I’ve had spinal stimulator twice, spinal radio frequency, which I didn’t realize. I didn’t ask enough question. The main side effect of that is that you can be paralyzed. But I’ve done eastern western medicine at one point I was on 73 homeopathic pills and 11 prescription medication and nothing was working.

And that’s when I realized, you know what, it’s up to me. And I think that when you realize you have a choice, that pain and joy can coexist, but when you realize you have a choice, you take your power back. And it was when I really got in acceptance for, okay, well these are the cards I’ve been dealt, that I started to be able to make better choices and take some action steps with grit.

But also I’ve had to learn to give myself. Some grace and rest and recover. So that diagnosis is why I have to continue to go in for different procedures and surgeries. And people ask me, oh, you still live with pain? And I’m like, well, yeah. Still have this been diagnosed with this nerve disease. I just don’t let it define me.

[00:09:37] Charles Eide: So is the nerve disease that you have, the regional pain, uhhuh nerve disease, or, I am missing the words, but was it a result of this injury? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay, so it caused it? Yep. Is that the, is that the type of thing that the, so the, the accident caused it and it’s a residual effect for the rest of your life?

[00:10:02] Amberly Lago: That’s what they say. 

[00:10:03] Charles Eide: Yeah. But so where is it? Just in a certain area? Just it’s in my right leg. And so that was the leg that got hurt? Yeah. 

[00:10:10] Amberly Lago: It hasn’t spread. Yeah, because it, it, some people bless their heart, have it, it’s spread and it’s full body mine, it is only in that area, my right leg, and I have fallen down the stairs on my crutches and broken my left wrist.

That, that was fun. But I was, they were worried it would spread to my left wrist. It didn’t, and I don’t think 

[00:10:31] Charles Eide: it’s going to, thank goodness. Mm-hmm. So the, the, the pain that you’re experiencing, is this like a ongoing all day, every day? You just have had to kind of Yeah. Mentally block it out? 

[00:10:45] Amberly Lago: Yeah. I mean, 

[00:10:46] Living with Chronic Pain

[00:10:46] Amberly Lago: everything that I do is, I have tried to block it out.

Yeah. I’ve tried to pretend that it, I don’t have it, uh, for a long time and it’s. I never know how bad it might get. Yeah. And so I do my best to prepare for everything. Like when I travel, my husband doesn’t travel much. I travel a lot. And he went on a trip to New York with me and he’s like, oh, let me carry your suitcase.

Let me do your roll. You know, I got my carry-on suitcase. And I said, no, honey, I need that to walk through the airport. I use my carry-on as a crutch. 

[00:11:25] Charles Eide: Yeah. 

[00:11:25] Amberly Lago: Um, I only can thank goodness 

[00:11:28] Charles Eide: for wheels on suitcases. 

[00:11:29] Amberly Lago: Oh my goodness. ’cause I, 

[00:11:31] Charles Eide: I never see that in the ads. 

[00:11:33] Amberly Lago: Right. 

[00:11:34] Charles Eide: You can 

[00:11:35] Amberly Lago: use it as a crutch. Yeah. You could help you walk.

Yeah. Um, which I had this thing, I was like, I don’t wanna use a crutch. Mm-hmm. I don’t wanna use a walker. That’s not the vision I have for me. Yeah. But I’ve come. I’ve learned, like my husband and I used to, we got in a fight one time, we were in the car going to to Disneyland and I could hear something rattling in the car and I was like, did you bring the wheelchair?

And he is like, yeah, you’re gonna need it through the amusement. I was like, I’m not gonna need that. I’m not using that. I mean, my little brother has been in a wheelchair his whole life, so nothing against wheelchairs. I don’t want to be in one. Yeah. I want to walk. Yeah. I wanna run. I wanna be free, you know?

And um, we got in an argument, I’m, I’m not getting in a wheelchair. And sure enough, halfway through the day, I’m like, okay, you were right. That chair 

[00:12:27] Charles Eide: sounds pretty good right now. 

[00:12:29] Amberly Lago: Yeah, you were right. And so I had to, 

[00:12:33] Acceptance and Moving Forward

[00:12:33] Amberly Lago: I think any real transformation, any breakthrough starts with being an acceptance. And that’s not.

Saying that you’re weak. It’s not saying that you’re defeated. It is being completely honest with yourself, getting radically honest with yourself and going, okay, well what, what? These are the cards I’ve been dealt. It’s up to me to play the heck out of these cards. Yeah. And I thought I had to get in acceptance for, okay, I can’t ignore this complex regional pain syndrome and, and pain demands to be heard.

So I was diagnosed with this, but pain is pain. You might have pain from business relationships. Physical emotional pain is pain. And I tried to stuff it down a long time, and that only led me to a rock bottom. And so I think we heal what we reveal. And, um, it’s not easy, but when we take a good hard look at ourself at our circumstances, that’s when we can make better choices to move in the right direction and also connect with the right people.

[00:13:40] Charles Eide: Yeah. Yeah. I get a little sciatica once in a while and I’m like, thinking about your case, and I’m like, well, I mean, I, some days that that happens once a year or so, I’m like, I can’t walk today. And that’s nothing compared to what you deal with every day. 

[00:13:56] Amberly Lago: Well, it’s, it’s interesting. You know, there are ways that you can move through it and it’s, you know, my good friend Kim brought me here.

She picked me up at the, uh, at the, um, airport and she goes, what’s going on with your leg? ’cause I was rubbing my leg. Like, and I, I didn’t even realize it, but I do things without even realizing it now. Yeah. That give me, um, a little bit of relief. Yeah. And so. I’ve had to change everything from everything I do moving.

And 

[00:14:29] The Power of Movement and Mindset

[00:14:29] Amberly Lago: I really think it is so important. I know when we’re in pain, the first thing is you don’t wanna move like you wanna, and that’s your body trying to protect itself. But moving moves your mood and it also kind of shifts your brain into possibility instead of you can’t do something, you can do something.

And when I was in the hospital and I was completely bedridden, I, I mean, I could not get out of the bed to even use the bathroom on my own. I had to use a bed pan, which is so humbling. Yeah. To go from being this sponsored by Nike and professional athlete. Infomercials and videos and commercials and ads to having to use a bed pen.

And so in the hospital I asked the doctors, I said, can you give me a pull-up? I need a bar installed over my bed. And they’re like, what? And I said, well, I need to do, be able to do pull-ups. If I can’t get out. I need to at least keep my upper body strong. I asked one of the trainers from the gym to bring me some dumbbells and it wasn’t like I was really wanting to like get big biceps, but I needed to move.

Yeah. Because I knew if I moved, it would make me feel like I was moving in the right direction. It made me feel more productive. It made. Realize there are possibilities and it also releases endorphins that make you feel good. It gets you the, the dopamine. And I, so I did everything I could, even in the hospital bed, uh, to get stronger physically.

Everything I ate, I focused on, um, they had to watch my blood sugar levels. If it got over 125, they said we would get, they’d have to give me insulin because when you have high blood sugar, it is just increases your possibility for infection. Hmm. And every day they didn’t know is, and I didn’t know, is this the day that they’re gonna have to end up amputating it?

And so, um, I did everything spiritually. I prayed, I still do pray every day. Uh, there’s power in prayer and, um. I think it’s so much about mindset. Yeah. You know, I think it starts with your mindset. If you’ve got the mindset that is open to possibilities and, uh, positivity, then you’re gonna go into any situation, whether it be surgery or whether it be, uh, uh, through work entrepreneurialship.

When you’re starting to launch something scary or you’re doing a new podcast or whatever it may be, it starts with having a mindset of, uh, abundance and positivity. 

[00:17:09] Charles Eide: That’s so powerful. I think, about how I could apply that just as an entrepreneur. And I’m wondering, when you, when you think about the greatest takeaways people have from your message, what, what do, what do, what do people take away from this?

[00:17:28] Resilience and Perspective Shifts

[00:17:28] Amberly Lago: I think it’s resilience because I think being an entrepreneur. Uh, there’s almost every day I wanna give up. Am I do? This is hard. Yeah. It takes a lot of resilience and I think that a lot of people don’t realize they want to give up. I wanted to give up. There was a moment that I thought, this is all too hard.

I’m done. Like, and our breakthrough is hiding in our breaking point. And I feel like, um, if we just take that one courageous action, if that, sometimes it’s just about one perspective shift. It’s about listening to your soul or to God. That little whisper that says, there’s more. Don’t give up. And I really think that resilience starts with, um, shifting your perspective.

That’s what I do every single day. ’cause every single day I, I get up, I mean. A lot of time. It’s moment by moment and shifting my perspective with gratitude. And I think that that is the fastest and the easiest way to shift your perspective and start to have mentally a stronger outlook on everything that you’re doing.

It changes, uh, your focus on from what you can’t do to what you can do and what you don’t have and to what you do have. And I think that it’s also what people take away from my message is the power of community. Like, I don’t know about you, but I really had a hard time at first asking for help. I didn’t wanna be a burden.

I didn’t want to be seen as weak. I didn’t want to say that something was wrong or share vulnerability because I felt like that really made me, I. I, I guess less than or vulnerable or like he needed something. Yeah. Or 

[00:19:21] Charles Eide: someone. 

[00:19:22] Amberly Lago: And when I go back to why I felt like that, it was like, I remember as a kid being sexually abused and having the courage to finally ask for help and I didn’t get it.

And it made me feel, feel like a burden or a lesson or I wasn’t lovable or I wasn’t worth protecting. And so I always had this attitude, I can do it my own. I don’t need help. I gotta do it. And I learned through this. We all need help. 

[00:19:49] Charles Eide: Mm. 

[00:19:49] Amberly Lago: We don’t need to do hard things alone. And there’s power in community.

And I feel like su success is built on relationships. And so I think that if, you know, if you’re struggling with anything, whether it is with your work, your marriage, your relationships, your health, ask for help. Don’t do it alone. I mean, I’m a coach and I’ve got a coach. I have my own mastermind. And I’m a part of a mastermind.

Yeah. Um, I’m sober by the grace of God. I got sober in 2016. Um, 

[00:20:23] Overcoming Addiction

[00:20:23] Amberly Lago: this complex regional pain syndrome led me to drinking. And boy did I have a lot of shame about that. To go from athlete married to a cop to sneak and drinking and becoming an alcoholic. Like, what the heck? And so it was humbling to have to take a look at that.

[00:20:46] Charles Eide: I mean, that’s totally understandable. You’re dealing with a massive amount of pain. You’re trying to cope with it. I mean, it doesn’t sound crazy that you would try to use alcohol to do that 

[00:21:00] Amberly Lago: well, 

[00:21:00] Charles Eide: but it kinda, I, it wasn’t serving you. I 

[00:21:04] Amberly Lago: remember trying all these radical treatments I’ve flown out of the country for treatments and I remember having a glass of wine and going, well, hey, that, why didn’t the doctors just tell me to knock a knock one back?

And that worked until it didn’t. And I remember thinking, um, you know, this isn’t the healthiest thing to do, but if this is what I have to do to get through the day and to cope with this pain, I’ll do it. And um, the funny thing, how you react to that, when I told my husband. Said, I think I got a problem. He goes, no, you don’t have a problem.

Anybody would be drinking if they had to deal with what you’re dealing with. But I knew deep down, yeah, this is a problem. Yeah. If I have to have a drink to get through this. And it was getting worse and worse and worse. And I think, you know, and that’s why I say get radically honest with yourself. You know when something’s not right.

And when you can take a look at that and have awareness and acceptance, and then enough courage to ask for help, that’s when your life gets better. And I remember calling a client, actually, and I knew she was sober, and that took courage to call a client and to admit I had a problem. Yeah, I’m gonna take you to a recovery meeting.

I didn’t hear from her for a while and I was like, I think I’m gonna die. I need help now. And that’s when I Googled. I got on the computer, I Googled. 12 step recovery, what to do. And I found a meeting to go to when my husband was at work and my daughters were in school, and I went from sneaking my drinking to sneaking, going to meetings.

And in that room I heard hope and I kept going back. And so that gave me my health back. It gave me, it gave me more than what I ever dreamed of. I, I went in to get sober and in return I got a community of people. I got my health, I get to be here with you. Yeah. And so I’m grateful 

[00:23:07] Charles Eide: for it. I quit drinking like three years ago.

You did? Yeah. I used to, I used to drink a few scotches and night and it got to the point where I was like, this is not serving my health goals, it’s not serving my mindset goals. And so I just slowly started cutting it out. It was funny because. You stop getting invited to certain parties or certain groups of people, just you, you’re just not invited to things.

I don’t even wanna 

[00:23:34] Amberly Lago: go. 

[00:23:34] Charles Eide: Well, and later on you start realizing like, well, I’m glad I’m not invited to that stuff. I’m just annoyed by people being like, Hey, what? You can’t you get you a drink? Oh, come on. Have one tonight. You know? And I mm-hmm. I just realized it was not serving my health. 

[00:23:47] Amberly Lago: Yeah. You know, 

[00:23:48] Charles Eide: I had blood pressure problems and all kinds of stuff, and I was like, this is just not helping me.

And I got nothing against, you know, people having drinks. I had, oh, I don’t either. I don’t. Right. I don’t, I’m not judging anybody else because they have a cocktail. But I, it got to the point where I was like, I get home and I need my three scotches. Yeah. You know, it’s like, come on. What, what am I doing here?

I’m working out five days a week and it’s just going backwards. Yeah. So it wasn’t helping me. So I commend you on that. Thank 

[00:24:15] Amberly Lago: you. 

[00:24:16] Charles Eide: Um, something you mentioned was shifting your perspective. Mm-hmm. Like your mindset and. That is one of those things that takes work, deep work 

[00:24:28] Amberly Lago: and it takes help from other people sometimes.

Yeah. Because there’s sometimes you need somebody kind of to knock that into you. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I will tell you what really changed a lot for me about perspective is the doctor who saved my leg. So. He had done 34 surgeries, saved my leg. And he did all 

[00:24:52] Charles Eide: of them. 

[00:24:52] Amberly Lago: Yeah. Well, I had a team. I had a team.

Yeah. They would come in and they would huddle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I was like, they would huddle and, uh, through every surgery I had to have my orthopedic doctor, who was a trauma specialist and, and my plastic surgeon, because they had to do, take all the skin from the top of my leg, put it on the bottom.

He had to cut my calf muscle in half and flip that to the front of my leg to, because there was a, a big hole in my leg. And, uh, like two inches of bone missing. So there was a lot. I had a whole team, a ankle specialist, uh, knee specialist, the trauma specialist, thank goodness 

[00:25:28] Charles Eide: for modern medicine. 

[00:25:29] Amberly Lago: Oh, I mean, it, it’s a miracle.

It’s a miracle. But after all of that, I couldn’t get out of pain. Mm-hmm. And I went to Dr. Wis and I said, doctor, I love him. I said, Dr. Wis, I appreciate what all you’ve done for me, but you know what? We need to go ahead and cut it off. And he goes, what are you talking about? 

[00:25:48] Charles Eide: Oh, so after all this, you were still, you obviously were still in pain.

I couldn’t deal with pain and pain. You get rid of this. And I 

[00:25:53] Amberly Lago: was like, and I didn’t understand CRPS to, it was about a year after I said, we need to just cut it off. I thought, I need to cut it off. I need to move on with my life. I’ll get a prosthetic. I can start running again. Just let’s do this. And he said, no, you don’t understand.

He said, if we cut it off the nerve disease could get worse. You’ve already got this thing and it could spread. We can’t, it’s not gonna solve it. So this 

[00:26:17] Charles Eide: could go to your whole body. 

[00:26:19] Amberly Lago: Yeah. And I have a friend of mine who cut her foot off, or I said, I guess I should say amputated her foot. Yeah. Went up to her leg, amputated her leg went up to her knee.

Oh no. Amputated. The knee went up to her hip. Now she’s double amputee. Oh. Like it kept spreading. And she kept, had a doctor that kept amputating. Thankfully my doctor was like, no, it’s not a solution. We can’t do that. But what he did to shift my perspective, changed my life. 

[00:26:44] Shifting Perspective on Scars

[00:26:44] Amberly Lago: He sat down in front of me and he grabbed my leg and he put it in his lap, not on the table.

What they usually do, he put my leg in his lap and he, the way he looked at it, he looked at it like it was a masterpiece. And I mean, I get emotional thinking about this ’cause I was like, wow. He’s looking at my leg like it’s masterpiece. I’m looking at it like, I am so disgusted with it. Look at all these scars and it’s deformed and ugly and it gives me pain.

And something shifted. And I thought, wow, if he can look at my leg like that, maybe I can learn to look at it too like that. And day by day it wasn’t easy, but day by day I started to be able to look at my leg as, wow, look at how the body can heal and look at how powerful the human spirit is. And. I can walk on my leg and I looked at my scars at everything.

Look at what I survived and I overcame. And it shifted everything for me. And now I remember the first time I was able to go to the beach and wear a bathing suit again and be proud of the scars. And I still was a little timid. I was still a little, um, afraid. And I remember I was in Miami. I got in the elevator and there was this lady.

I’m like, oh gosh, here it comes. You know she’s gonna say something. She looked at me and she said, excuse me? I said, yeah. She goes, I saw you at the pool yesterday and I just want you to know. I thought, wow, look at that lady. She’s overcome so much. She’s strong, she’s resilient. And I thought, wow. She looked at me, she said, you encouraged me just by seeing you walk around the pool with your scars.

And I thought, wow, what a moment. It was. It changed. Like that was like, 

[00:28:35] Charles Eide: you needed that. 

[00:28:36] Amberly Lago: I did. I I, she was telling me I helped her. No, she helped me. Yeah. You know, and then I’m able to now, like we were out, um, hiking one day, um, and I lived in near Malibu and we were out and hiking. I was with my daughter and this guy comes up and he goes, oh my gosh, what happened to you?

And I looked at him, I said, shark attack, you better not get in the water. And so, and so my daughters, you know, I can be an example of resilience for them. I can let them know that, you know, we’re all like permission slips. If you are loving yourself, you’re a walking permission slip for somebody else to love themselves.

I want to be a permission slip for my daughters to be resilient, to love their imperfections, and know they’re perfectly, you know, imperfect the way they are. Yeah. And so, um, it’s been a journey, but to be able to be finally proud of my scars as all the things I’ve overcome has, has been a journey. But I’m glad I, I mean, 

[00:29:40] Charles Eide: it’s a reminder of your strength when you look at it.

It’s a reminder of your strength, I mean, to yourself. Right. Thank you. 

[00:29:48] Amberly Lago: Thank you. I mean, it’s still hard sometimes. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll look. I’m like, oh wow. That’s what I look like. But I can also laugh at myself, you know, and my daughters can laugh with me. My youngest daughter, boy, she is a little comedian, she keeps me laughing.

And she’ll start walking with a limp or really, and go, oh, who am I? And I’m like, stop, Ruby. I know you’re acting like you’re me, but I do. I really walk like that. She’s like, well, sometimes you do. You know 

[00:30:17] Charles Eide: kids. Yeah. They have a way of saying things, don’t they? Mm-hmm. Uh, talk to me about imposter syndrome and storytelling, 

[00:30:28] Imposter Syndrome

[00:30:28] Amberly Lago: imposter syndrome and storytelling.

Yeah. Um, well, gosh, I feel I get. I think, you know, I was talking to my Uber driver on the, the ride to the airport this morning and he’s like, wow, you know, thanks, I, I appreciate your humility. Because he was asking me, well, what do you do? And I said, oh, I’m going to Minneapolis. I’m speaking at an event. And I just started talking to him.

I was like, oh no, I still get nervous. I still get anxious. I said, you know, wasn’t that long ago. I was in my office about to speak to at a virtual event to 300 people, and I was so anxious and talk about imposter syndrome. I’m like, who am I to go? Like, do they, who’s gonna care about my story? You know?

Like I started talking to God, going, God, this is just, this is too much, man. I get too anxious. I don’t think I’m good enough. Like imposter syndrome all the way. And, um. Then my phone rings, right? When I’m talking about my phone rings, I look over, it’s this guy from my church and his face. He never calls me.

His face is lit up on my phone and I’m like, why is Ryan calling me? I’m like, hello, Ryan. He goes, yeah. Hey Emily. I’m doing an event and we’re doing it at this arena, and we’re expecting 5,000 people. I’d like for you to come and be a keynote speaker there. I was like, yeah, I’ll be there. And I thought, I got off the phone like, God, you got a funny sense of humor.

You know, sometimes we need those little signs. Yeah. Sometimes we need people to see the potential in us or to believe in us, or to pour into us. I, like I said, don’t do it alone, but, uh, I think that when you can stay hungry and humble, you’re gonna get there. And if you stay in your heart and know what your values are and what your alignment, uh, you know what you’re aligned with and know what that vision is for you, and you’re there to genuinely serve.

You know, I started, I wrote my books, not because I wanted, I, I didn’t even own a computer when I wrote my first book. I, I had to buy a laptop. I, when I started speaking, I had, people were like, who did people close to me? You’re the fitness girl. Why didn’t you wanna go on stage? Don’t you know, that’s the number one fear other than death itself.

And I’m like, but I have a message and I wanted to inspire at least one person if I could help one person. And so, um, I think when you just approach it as how can you serve, who can you help, um, then the opportunities will come. 

[00:33:06] Charles Eide: That’s so powerful. I was just thinking about when you were talking about imposter syndrome.

Mm-hmm. And who am I to be doing this, or speaking? This morning I interviewed a billionaire. This man owns a NHL team. He has built many businesses, and even at his level, I said, do you ever have imposter syndrome? Where you feel like, why me? Why should I, yeah. Be trusted or believed or whatever. And he was like, all the time.

[00:33:40] Amberly Lago: Wow. 

[00:33:42] Charles Eide: It’s like, it doesn’t matter who you are, you just, every, everybody has those moments. I think 

[00:33:49] Amberly Lago: so. I mean, or at least moments where we kind of feel like that. And it helps when you have a community of people to remind you. And you know, like I’ve got a good friend who’s really, she’s an incredible speaker, um, uh, millionaire, amazing lady.

And she will call me and say, I need an Amber Lee pep talk. And I’m like, okay. I said, you remember who the, you know. F you are. But I think it’s powerful sometimes when you drop a little cuss word in there. But you know, sometimes we have to remember like, yeah, I, yeah, I have that voice that comes up that’ll say, who do you think you are?

And I’ll go, well, I am Amber Lee Lago. Like, I have to talk to myself instead of listen to myself and give myself a pep talk. A pep talk. Yeah. You know, because I do have that inner critic. Yeah. That little bully that comes up and tells me, yeah, I’m not good enough. I’m not strong enough. I can’t walk today, get back in bed.

You know, you’re not smart enough. Like all those things. So how do you 

[00:34:57] Charles Eide: overcome that? 

[00:34:58] Amberly Lago: I think we need a disruption in, uh, sometimes it’s that disruption in the emotions, in the self-talk, that soundtrack that comes up that will repeat over and over and over. We having a disruption and we have to, um.

Interrupt the pattern, interrupt the, the habits. Um, and it’s not about motivation is fleeting. I think it’s about the discipline and sometimes you just gotta do it anyway, you know? Yeah. I get scared, but I do it anyway. I had, uh, one of my clients actually, I was going to give my very first talk was actually my TED talk.

No pressure. I 

[00:35:38] Charles Eide: watched it, by the way. It was beautiful. Thank you. The one on YouTube, 

[00:35:42] Amberly Lago: you watched 

[00:35:42] Charles Eide: it. Yeah. Thank you. I watched it last night. I was sitting in the SA putting little water on the rocks. Oh gosh. And I had it down there. I was watching it. It’s amazing. 

[00:35:49] Amberly Lago: Thank you. That was my first. I was talk about imposter syndrome, the the, I got a message, oh, the website’s up, you can start promoting, get people in the room.

It was TEDx Berkeley 10th anniversary. My husband’s looking at the website and every other speaker has a PhD, so everyone’s a speaker. And I got no initials behind my name. And so my husband was like, oh wow, you’re the only one that’s not, doesn’t have a PhD and doesn’t have all these initials. And I’m like, yeah, I noticed that honey, thanks.

Thanks for 

[00:36:22] Charles Eide: reminding me. 

[00:36:23] Amberly Lago: Thank you. And I got on the phone with the curator and I was like, yeah, I am not trying to promote anything at all, but is there any way you could like put that I’m an author behind my neighbors. And she goes, are you feeling intimidated? And I was like, oh yeah, yeah. And she go, I said, I’m the only one without initials.

I’m the only one that’s not a doctor. And she said, Amberly. You have a PhD in heart and that’s why we want you on our stage. And that shifted everything. But when I got there in Berkeley and I was about to get on stage, I always do pushups and prayer before I go on stage. I was so nervous and I talked to one of my clients, it’s a client I’ve had for over 20 years, and she goes, Amber Lee, you made it through 34 surgeries.

You can get up on that stage and talk. And I said, 

oh 

yeah. So again, somebody else to kind of shift your perspective. But now I always think about what’s the hardest thing you’ve ever overcome? Think about that. You did it, you got through it, you survived it, you can get through the next thing. And so sometimes I think it helps to think about those things.

[00:37:35] Charles Eide: Yeah. Something I’m wondering is when someone in a entrepreneurial role or business, you know, somebody like me. Is faced with something really intimidating and hard. 

Mm-hmm. 

[00:37:52] Overcoming Fear and Taking Action

[00:37:52] Charles Eide: What advice do you have to overcome it and do it 

[00:37:57] Amberly Lago: To overcome something? Yeah. To overcome 

[00:37:59] Charles Eide: the fear of doing that thing or hiring that person or building that new whatever.

I mean, for me, starting a podcast was really scary. Yeah. Like what do you tell people? It is for 

[00:38:09] Amberly Lago: most 

people. I mean, I started mine. I didn’t know what I was doing. I still don’t. Here’s six years later, I’m still doing it and I love it. Um, I think when you have your heart into it and you just get up and take the set, you know what, I’ll say it like this.

Anything that’s hard is. Doing one thing at a time, even a small step in the right direction. It is one truth that you have, like how you can speak truth into yourself and know what your values are. It is, um, one action that you can take every day. It is being taking one action that is in alignment with what you’re doing.

And I will say like, if you’re thinking of something big like a podcast, if you thought of, well, I gotta have this big studio and I gotta have all the lights and I gotta have the editor and the producer and this and that, and all the big guests, it might be too intimidating to start. I started my podcast with a laptop in my coat closet and a crappy microphone.

Now I have a good mic like you, but I started it. And I just get started just, just to start. And you know what? I gradually got out of my coat closet into an office that was nice. And a desktop and a better mic. And you know what? Even with a laptop and a crappy mic in my coat closet, I had New York Times bestsellers that were on my, I had May must.

You had a message. You had a message. You know, and, and that message is, it doesn’t matter where you start. Just start. Yeah, just start. And when I was stuck in the hospital bed at home, so we had a hospital bed in my, um, living room at home, and I had a physical therapist that would come over every day. And I remember the first thing she had me do, she said, lift your leg up off the bed.

I couldn’t lift my leg, it wouldn’t move. I, and I thought, am I paralyzed? Can I not move it? Every day. I was like, I’m gonna move my leg today. I wasn’t thinking about, I’m gonna run a marathon. Yeah. I wanted to run a marathon again. I thought, what can I do today? What are my goals today that I can do? And so little by little I was able to move my leg, lifted up six inches off the bed.

Then I was able to stand on one leg just upright outta the bed for literally seconds at a time. My main goal was to be able to stand up long enough to use crutches to walk around the corner to use the bathroom on my own. It wasn’t to run the marathon, it was to use the bathroom on my own. Stop 

[00:40:45] Charles Eide: using that darn bedpan.

Exactly. 

[00:40:47] Amberly Lago: Yeah. And so it’s, when people think of this big picture, it seems like so overwhelming and scary. But if you think of what is one action step, what is one step in the right direction of that goal that I can take today? It gets done. 

[00:41:05] Charles Eide: Yeah. When you think about setbacks mm-hmm. Because you kind of had the ultimate setback.

[00:41:11] Amberly Lago: I still get, I still fall flat on my, like literally fall flat on my face and I have my event every year that’s called Unstoppable. My mastermind is called Unstoppable Life Mastermind, but one of the ladies in the mastermind said this morning, Hey, I’m not gonna be as active on the group today. I’m taking care of myself.

I’m sorry. I need to just stop. And I’m like, Hey, part of being unstoppable is not having setbacks or falling down or, or even failing. It’s resting and recovering, but it’s always getting back up. 

[00:41:47] Charles Eide: Yeah. Getting back up. 

[00:41:48] Amberly Lago: Mm-hmm. 

[00:41:50] Charles Eide: I love that. It’s amazing how many failures it takes to get that. Success to happen, and everyone sees just the success, but they don’t see all the failures that happened, 

[00:42:05] Amberly Lago: you know?

Oh my goodness. It’s so funny you’re saying that because the Uber driver, I love talking to my Uber drivers, you know? I do too. You know, and he, he was like. He was talking to me and telling me all his dreams and his goals, and then he said, I said, oh, just one second. My producer’s messaging me. ’cause I, my podcast drops every Wednesday.

I gotta have you on my show. I would 

[00:42:26] Charles Eide: love to. Will 

[00:42:27] Amberly Lago: you? I would love to. Okay. Okay. You heard it here. Um, but he’s like, I said, oh, just one second. I said, my podcast just dropped and my producers texted me and blah, blah. And I’m, I said, okay, I can talk again. I said, I got this posted. And he goes, wow. People don’t see the behind the scenes.

He goes, all that you’re doing, you’re posting it on your social media, you’re talking to producer. And he’s, he heard me talking to, leaving a message in my chat, uh, from my mastermind, leaving a message for a virtual event that I’m doing tonight. Um, he’s like, people don’t see behind the scenes. I’m like, oh yeah, it takes some grit.

Oh yeah. Behind the scenes. It does. Yeah. It’s always 

[00:43:04] Charles Eide: the, the polished, finished product. I always, you know, you watch these podcasts and you’re like, I could, I could do that. Or, or, or anything. Right. You see someone that builds up a clothing brand or anything and you’re like, oh, it can’t be that hard. But when you learn about the failure that it took to learn the excellence, that is the outcome.

Yeah. You’re 

like, oh my gosh. Like, how could I not even think of that? The failure is what gives you the success. 

[00:43:34] Amberly Lago: Yeah. The, the, the best lessons I’ve ever learned have been very expensive. Very expensive. Uh, I don’t even wanna say mistakes. They’re lessons I’ve learned, or my failures, man. Those are lessons you never forget.

Yeah. You won’t do that again. No. Or if, if you do, I think that’s called insanity. Yeah. 

[00:43:58] Charles Eide: Something I wanted to understand is you went from. Where you were to where you are now and your, your mission, you kind of unlocked your mission, right? It like, it became all of a sudden a mission for you to get out and spread the good word mm-hmm.

That you, that you share. 

[00:44:18] Finding Your Mission

[00:44:18] Charles Eide: Where was the moment in time where you were like, this is what I’m gonna do and I’m gonna do it with everything I got? 

[00:44:27] Amberly Lago: Well, you know, I had tried to get back to training clients and it And you say training, 

[00:44:33] Charles Eide: like, like physical training? Yeah. Yeah. So I had a fitness, like fitness training.

Yeah. 

[00:44:37] Amberly Lago: I had a fitness, uh, business and I employed several other trainers. And I also had a, a business where it was a trainer certification preparation. I would get them ready for certification. They would do sha, they would shadow me in the gym. I would teach ’em the whole business. And then I would take the best ones and they’d, I’d be like, oh, they’re on your team.

I’m gonna put ’em on my team. You don’t 

[00:44:59] Charles Eide: wanna start a business. You wanna join my team? Come, come join my team. I already got all the business stuff. Yeah. 

[00:45:03] Amberly Lago: And, um, tried to get back to that and one day my husband was at, and I was, lemme tell, I was pushing through some serious pain just to be on my feet. And I had had another surgery and I had one of those medical boots on and, and I guess my stitches had busted open and I was bleeding across the gym floor.

And my husband comes over and goes, what are you doing? This has got to stop. Like, and I realized in that moment, I’m not serving myself. I’m not serving my clients the best to the best of my abilities. I’m not. Serving my family to the best because I’m just pushing. And, and I was, a lot of times you, you try to fix what’s broken and go back to something.

And I realize that resilience is bouncing forward. And in that moment I thought, I can’t do this anymore, but what can I do? And I thought about, well, what brings me joy? What do I love doing? And I was like, well, I love working with people. I started teaching dance when I was 13 years old. I’ve worked with clients for years and I thought maybe I can work with people in a different way.

And so I thought, well, this could not have happened for any reason. I, I’m gonna write a book about this and just share how you can move through pain. You can reinvent yourself. You can have joy despite the pain. And everybody was like, you’re crazy. Like you write a book, you’re the fitness girl. You don’t have a college education.

You don’t even own a computer like. Who are you to write a book? And so I thought, well then I’m definitely gonna write a book. And so I wrote 90% of it by hand. And, um, then got an editor and he, I asked him, what kind of computer do I buy? Went to the Apple store, took a class, and uh, the guy stopped the class and he said, I just have to say, I don’t think I’ve ever had anybody in class that raises, that wasn’t embarrassed to raise their hand as much as you.

And I said, well, I’m not embarrassed. I said, I, I’m on a mission and I need to learn how to do this. I didn’t care if I looked stupid. I was like, I need to learn. And so I got my laptop typed up, typed it up, got a publisher by the way, told my husband, Hey, I got somebody. He goes, somebody wants your book. And I’m like, yeah, can you believe it?

I’m gonna get it published. Like, wait a minute, you told me you believed in me. Yes. Now you’re shocked. Yes. And then it launched on the Today Show and it became a national bestseller. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea the amount of people that were gonna reach out. I was hoping one person would read it and I would help one person.

And to this day, I just had somebody message me through dm, long message through DM on Instagram saying, thank you for what I do, because they have CRPS. I didn’t think I was writing a book that would help people with CRPS either, but it helped them to not give up. And now they’re going back to college they are doing.

And so I thought, if I can help one person, well now they’re doing something and now they’re inspiring their kids and now it’s the ripple effect. And so that’s how I even got started. And then speaking, I got asked to speak at a networking group. And from that. I got asked to speak at another one and another one.

I got my TEDx through a DM on Instagram. Can you believe that? 

[00:48:34] Charles Eide: I mean, that’s pretty amazing. 

[00:48:36] Amberly Lago: I’m black shocked and I did not believe it. And I remember answering the DM and I gave her my email and she emailed me and I was like, oh my gosh, this is real. And so I just feel, I feel blessed, you know? Yeah. And the times when I feel like giving up, which is often, and being an entrepreneur, to be honest with you.

Yeah. When I’m trying new things and doing new things and it’s hard and, but I love it. And I think when you love what you do and you remember why you’re doing it. Then you keep going and it’s the people that reach out to you and say, because of you, I didn’t give up. That’s what feeds my soul and, uh, lights me up.

And so that’s how I keep going. 

[00:49:22] Charles Eide: Something that keeps coming up in our conversation is the, the, you are, you’re an extremely driven person. It’s very clear you have a lot of drive. Mm-hmm. And even from when you said you were a dance coach when you were 13. Mm-hmm. Did I say that right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What, where do you think you got your drive?

You know how some people, they just, they don’t have that. 

Mm-hmm. 

Where did you get your drive? Was it when your childhood, was it. Through practice? I 

[00:49:48] Amberly Lago: think so. You know, I think, and I think that’s something that I’m grateful that my daughters have the drive, but when I was growing up, we, I definitely didn’t come from a perfect childhood.

Most of us don’t. And, um, we didn’t have much money. And if I wanted something then I had to work for it. If I wanted a car, I bought my car. If I wanted, you know, the, the rabbit fur coat was a big thing in Texas growing up when I was young. And you know, the kids had, if you had the white, all white fur coat, then woo, you 

[00:50:22] Charles Eide: can’t, kids walking around with fur coats on 

[00:50:24] Amberly Lago: Oh, in Texas, a rabbit fur coat in the eighties.

I had no 

[00:50:28] Charles Eide: idea. 

[00:50:29] Amberly Lago: Oh, oh yeah. See 

[00:50:30] Charles Eide: we just had starter jackets. 

[00:50:34] Amberly Lago: Oh, wow. When I was in 

[00:50:34] Charles Eide: grade school, 

[00:50:35] Amberly Lago: rabbit fur coats. And in fact we 

[00:50:37] Charles Eide: moved to Texas. 

[00:50:38] Amberly Lago: That fur coat I had, I didn’t have the white one. I had the mix matched. But I saved up money and was able to get that. And I still own that white. Do you? Really? Not the white.

Maybe one day I’ll have a white, but I know people in California would throw paint on me if I, if I had that. Uh, ’cause I lived in California for 31 years, but I kept that little fur coat that’s so ragged. I have it hanging in my closet because it’s a reminder that when you want something and you work hard for it, you can get it.

And so by the time I was in high school, a senior in high school, I had four jobs. I’d saved up enough money and you know, even back then, I don’t know what it is, but when people tell me I can’t do something or it’s not possible, it motivates me. I’m like, oh really? Watch me. I’m gonna do it. Kinda like the book.

[00:51:33] Charles Eide: You’re like, I’m going after 

[00:51:33] Amberly Lago: this. I’m going after it. Really, it can’t be done. Thank you for the motivation. And I worked four jobs and I, I had saved up $1,200, packed up my little car, moved to California. Had a dream of being a professional dancer, despite everybody saying, it’s not possible. Good luck with that.

You’ll never make it in Hollywood. A month later I was dancing on an Mc Hammer video. 

[00:51:58] Charles Eide: You were? Oh, 

[00:51:58] Amberly Lago: yeah. I was like, living, I thought I have made it. I am dancing with Mc Hammer and I’m really aging myself talking about the eighties and Mc Hammer. But yeah. 

[00:52:11] Charles Eide: Something you talk about a lot was, uh, community.

Mm-hmm. And using community to, you know, strengthen yourself and others. Mm-hmm. How, 

[00:52:21] The Power of Community

[00:52:21] Charles Eide: how does someone go about either finding the right community for them? Especially in business. Mm-hmm. It’s hard to find community when you’re a leader. It, it is a bit lonely. Mm-hmm. How do you find community? 

[00:52:35] Amberly Lago: Well, I think you, or build it.

I think that, first of all, you have to be authentic. You, you have to know your values and then you will start to attract naturally. Or, I mean, I was just talking about this on the car on the way here about how, you know, even with my annual event, I don’t say it’s, it’s, you know, I don’t, I didn’t go after like, this is a faith entrepreneurialship, faith felt like I, but the people that come or they have faith, I don’t know.

I, I guess it’s the message that I share. But also I had a guy, uh, come to my event and he said, and he’s sober and he goes, Amberly, you know, we had the VIP and there were drinks and stuff and, and it was in a bar, but nobody drank. And like I said, I don’t care if people drink, but nobody was drinking. And he pointed it out, he said, Amberly, it was amazing.

He goes, your event no bond, no one was drinking. And I said, well, I guess I just attract people that are health conscious, they’re sober because they choose to be, not ’cause they have a problem necessarily be, but they’re centered on their health goals and having a clear mind and no brain fog. And, and so I think that when you were authentically, um.

You and you are, um, reaching out to people with the same, you know, different. If they’ve got different values, great, but when you attract people that have similar values, that’s how you grow and you expand and you can really support each other. But I think that, um, integrity is everything. I gr growing up in Texas like we used to, there were like no contracts.

You gave somebody your word, you gave somebody a deal, and you shook their hand, and that meant a lot. I wanna be known for having that integrity and having the, that, that honesty. I think it’s important even in your team, if there’s someone that doesn’t have the, they’re gossiping or they’re talking bad, or they’re just, they’re not in alignment with your goals, your mission, your vision.

You really have to take a look at that. And it might be hard. Um, but I, another Uber driver, this is wise words of an Uber driver, not my own, this Uber driver. I was speaking at an event in Virginia a couple of weeks ago, and out of the blue, this Uber driver starts talking to me and says, um, he goes, yeah, you know, I used to be in this business where I would have to go in and really human resources and blah, blah, blah.

And imagine a garden. You got one weed in that garden. If you don’t pick that weed before long, you’re gonna have a garden full of weeds. That’s the same for any company. If you’ve got a company and there’s one person that is, they’re bringing the morale down, the culture, down the, the, the, the, I mean, joy is contagious.

Energy is contagious. Yeah. And you got one person that’s negative and it’s slowly, they’re planting those seeds of negativity. Before long. One by one, it starts to affect everyone. How do you know when it’s time to let ’em go? Um, well actually that’s a good question. So I recently had somebody, um, in, in an inner circle, and I’d had one person say, Hey, you know, this person is talking negatively.

And that’s not what I, I don’t want gossip, I don’t want that. I don’t want the negativity. Look, we all have bad days, but how can we shift that and not, you know. Complain, but how can we look at, okay, done complaining. Like, what, what can we do? And I had another person say something, then I had another third person say something.

I’m like, oh, I gotta take a look at this. So I addressed the person. I had a conversation. 

[00:56:23] Charles Eide: And is this, uh, an employee or part of the community? Or part of the community? Part of the community. And is this like on a forum on Facebook, or is this a online No, it’s through like 

[00:56:32] Amberly Lago: a, a inner circle. Like I, I have a smaller inner circle of people, an online 

[00:56:38] Charles Eide: community.

[00:56:39] Amberly Lago: We get together in person as well. You do? But we are connected online. Mm-hmm. All the time. 

[00:56:45] Charles Eide: But so you were hearing from different angles. Hey, from different 

[00:56:48] Amberly Lago: angles. Not even in the group, but now outside the group. And I was like, okay, I gotta address this. And I think as a leader, you have to. Go and look at your part.

And also I’m like, how can I make this better? Like, I want somebody to come to me when there’s a problem, come to me. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong, right? We can’t fix what’s going on if we don’t address and be honest with ourselves and look at our part in it, you know? Um, and have that open communication and um, then.

Honestly, what I did is I went to bed and I prayed about it and every time I prayed before I go to bed, I get the ans the answer. I mean, strong. I can wake up in the middle of the night sometimes. It might not even be the answer that I want, but I get the answer. Wow. And so I think it’s important to, when you’ve got a hard decision to speak to that person and, and have that communication and that open, you know, like, how can I make it better?

How can I make this right? Um, go to an advisor. Go to a mentor and go to someone that you can trust and take really counsel, not opinion. Like go to somebody who’s been there who can counsel you, not somebody who has no idea, they’ve never done what you’re doing, that’s opinion. They’ve never been through what you’re doing.

They may not run a company, they’re not doing a podcast, they’re not writing books, they’re not speaking on or whatever it may be. So seek counsel. Pray and then go have a conversation with that person. And I always think it’s important to look at your pardon in it. What, what could I have done better as a leader?

Um, and then take action. 

[00:58:29] Charles Eide: Yeah. It just gets me thinking about the times in my career that I’ve had that weed in the garden. It’s hard, you know? And it is hard ’cause sometimes you’re like, but I, that person really performs well. 

Yes. Right. 

But they, they have this terrible attitude to everybody around them.

Mm-hmm. And it’s, it, it can be toxic. And you’re right, it does spread and it does quickly. 

[00:58:54] Amberly Lago: It does, it really does. I mean, I’ve had somebody on my team that I had no idea was going to different people and telling them horrible things. Horrible. And I’m like, what is going on? So, yeah, you gotta, gotta, it takes.

You’ve gotta stand up and say something. As a leader, you gotta like have and address it. 

[00:59:22] Charles Eide: Yeah. 

[00:59:22] Amberly Lago: And address it with the group. Yeah. And be like, Hey, let me talk about the big, you know, elephant in the room. But now we’re moving on. Yeah. 

[00:59:32] Charles Eide: Before we conclude, I have another question for you. You gotta bring it in for a landing here, but when you think about someone needing, or I should say Yeah.

Needing a coach. Mm-hmm. You said you have coaches and you also coach. Yeah. 

[00:59:47] Choosing the Right Coach

[00:59:47] Charles Eide: How does, how did you determine who’s a good coach for you? 

[00:59:50] Amberly Lago: Oh, I’ve made mistakes, expensive mistakes. I’ve made mistakes by joining a mastermind paid, you know, $14,000 and went to one. I’m, I’m gonna be honest with you, paid $50,000 for a guy who was a coach, who was a really good salesman.

[01:00:12] Charles Eide: Mm. 

[01:00:13] Amberly Lago: And. That’s about it, not a coach. The lesson I learned was ask questions, not just from the person, but say, Hey, can I talk to somebody that you’ve worked with and, and see what their feedback is? Because when you’re paying that kind of money, I mean, it was a very expensive lesson for me. But also, you really need to go to someone who’s done the things you wanna do.

Well, if you wanna write a book, why would you go to somebody who’s never written a book and they’re trying to give you advice? Isn’t 

[01:00:50] Charles Eide: it funny we do that in our lives. It’s like they never done, we ask advice from people that don’t, haven’t done those things like our friends or our inner circle, or even family members.

And you ask their advice on something they have never done and they give you advice and you take it and you’re like, why did I listen to them? E 

[01:01:05] Amberly Lago: Exactly. I mean, o on the way here, I’m on the plane and I took a shot of my, ’cause I’m wearing jeans. I was gonna change in the, you know, some 

[01:01:13] Charles Eide: pretty cool jeans.

Well, thank you. Lots of patches and stuff. 

[01:01:16] Amberly Lago: Yeah, thank you. I was gonna wear a skirt and I’m texting that husband. Oh, they’re husband. I wear the skirt or the pants. He’s never done a podcast. He doesn’t like he, I’m asking him. 

[01:01:27] Charles Eide: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:01:28] Amberly Lago: I remember when I was writing my first book, I actually paid a guy. I was paying a guy a hundred dollars an hour.

He had never written a book. And I went, I, I swear. And I, I went, I was in like the third session and I realized. This is baloney. He’s never, what am I doing? He has no clue what he’s talking about. And so go to somebody who’s done the things that you wanna do. Yeah. If you are wanting to speak on stages, why would you take advice from a coach who doesn’t speak?

[01:02:00] Charles Eide: Yeah. 

[01:02:00] Amberly Lago: Go to somebody who is speaking. They’re doing it, they are doing the thing you wanna do, they’ve done well. They might, well, they have 

[01:02:06] Charles Eide: relationships that they could help you with too. Exactly. Yeah. That’s, mm-hmm. That’s good advice. I’ve, I’ve, uh, got a couple of coaches in my life, some formal, some informal, and it’s some of the, some of the best time that I spend is Yeah.

Is talking with them and getting help on challenges. Oh yeah. I just, before we recorded this podcast, I was at my coach’s office going through a challenge. We’re facing here, and I walked out of there with clarity. 

[01:02:37] Amberly Lago: It helps so much, doesn’t it? 

[01:02:39] Charles Eide: I was, I was so. Foggy on what we were supposed to do in this, in this issue.

And I walked outta there going, that is the best time that I could spend Oh yeah. Is with that coach. It helps. Shout out to Mike Peyton, EOS worldwide. Thank you, Mike Peyton. I love you. Uh, but it makes all the difference, so. 

[01:03:01] Amberly Lago: Wow. I know Mike, Mike Peyton, but it it’s a different Mike Peyton. I know. 

[01:03:04] Charles Eide: Yeah. 

[01:03:04] Amberly Lago: But it does make all the difference.

I mean, even, you know, like talking about starting a podcast, I remember when I did my first event. Yeah. I didn’t really ask advice and I learned the hard way that. When you’re doing an event at a hotel, that coffee is $2,000 or $200 a gallon. And I had a small event and spent $2,000 on coffee alone. Yeah.

Like I started talking to people. What AV do you use? Like what? What hotels? They, not the 

[01:03:36] Charles Eide: in-house av, hopefully, yeah. Don’t use the in-house av. But 

[01:03:41] Amberly Lago: you don’t know that until, you don’t. Until, and if you get a coach, it’s gonna time collapse your goals and it’s gonna save you money in the long run. And if it’s a good coach, they’re gonna make the right connections for you.

Yeah. As well. And make sure 

[01:03:56] Charles Eide: you vet the coach. Oh, big time. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean my, all my coaches were referrals through friends who knew these people and had worked with them. Yeah. It’s, I mean, it’s game changer. 

[01:04:08] Amberly Lago: And I even say, okay, what would, for instance, John Gordon is a friend of mine. I love him.

He, him and his wife are amazing. I sometimes go, because I have so much admiration for him. He wrote the Forward for my book, which I cried when he said yes to that. Mm-hmm. But I will say, what would John Gordon do in this situation to help me make a decision if I can’t, you’re like channeling my 

[01:04:36] Charles Eide: inner, 

[01:04:36] Amberly Lago: I’m Mike.

If I can’t get on a call with him, I’m like, well, what would he do? Yeah. I think it’s important too, if you’re making decisions to have that coach make, it’s 

[01:04:46] Charles Eide: funny how you can shift your mindset just by thinking about what, what would they do? They would do, yeah. 

[01:04:52] Amberly Lago: They, they would never do that. 

[01:04:53] Charles Eide: Yeah. 

[01:04:54] Amberly Lago: Like, what am I thinking?

They would never do that. Like, you know. No. 

[01:04:59] Charles Eide: Yeah. Yeah. It helps. Yeah. You just, a little mindset shift. Yeah. Before we go, I have to ask you about your books. You have two beautiful books right here. Thank you. True Grit and Grace. Turning Tragedy Into Triumph. Was this your first book? 

[01:05:14] Amberly Lago: That was my first book. A memoir Meant To Inspire.

And um, my editor said, oh, it’s a love story. I said, this is not a love story. This is about grit and getting through 34 surgeries and changing your life. He goes, no, it’s, it’s a love story. Your husband and you, it’s your love story. So I’m like, oh, okay. So my husband like is like, yeah, that’s right. It’s because of me that you have two legs, you know?

And I’m like, because 

[01:05:41] Charles Eide: he’s the one that said, don’t do that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that’s very, he’s a, he’s a character. I wish, wish he was here to meet you. Oh, I can’t. I, I, I look forward to maybe someday meeting him. Maybe when we go. He’s, he amazing. He’s amazing. Thank you for signing these. This is so kind. Tell me, oh 

[01:05:55] Amberly Lago: yeah.

I wrote you a little note in both of those. Thank 

[01:05:57] Charles Eide: you. 

[01:05:57] Joy Through the Journey

[01:05:57] Charles Eide: Tell me about Joy through the journey. Shift your mindset, embrace the present moment, and cultivate resilience through life’s ups and downs. 

[01:06:06] Amberly Lago: Well, I wrote that really, um, actually, the idea for it, I came from John, John Gordon. I, we were talking on the phone one day and he goes, you know what?

Amberly your next book. He goes, I’m really, he’s got like 36 books. He’s like, I’m really good at titles for books, and you talk about joy a lot. Your next book should be Joy Through the Journey. So I literally had joy through the journey on a sticky note on my computer, and I thought, well, someday I want Wiley publishers to publish my next book If I ever do another book.

Lo and behold, I get an email from Wi Wiley publishers. No kidding. And can we get on a call? Do you have an idea for a new book? And I get on a call and I pitch this book. Okay, I don’t have an outline. I don’t know what I’m doing. And they are like, get us a proposal. You got two days. I took two days off of work, wrote a propo proposal, didn’t know, and they said yes.

And I came outta my office and I told my husband, I said, oh my gosh, I just got a book deal. And he goes, oh no. When are you gonna have time for that? I said, well, I’m gonna make time. But it really made me pause. Because I thought, I’m writing about a book about joy and I don’t feel like I have as much joy as I usually do.

So I took a pause and I thought, if I’m gonna write a book, I better be sparking some joy and I am more vulnerable in this book and raw and real. I’d share things that I don’t think I’ve even, my husband even knows. But it’s about being an entrepreneur and how little by little I was on the brink of burnout and how I got that joy back.

Hmm. And how the pain little by little was, was just eat me alive and how I learned to get the joy back. But it’s really about, you know, doing all the things. I mean, you’re beautiful, your studio, your facility, your amazing team. It’s a lot. It takes some grit to do that. But if you don’t have joy, then what do you do?

[01:08:16] Charles Eide: That’s what Ben and I were just talking about this, this morning in the car. The guy holding the camera over there, we were talking about you have to, for the most part, you gotta find joy in what you’re doing. Oh yeah. ’cause there’s a way to find it. It, everybody can find it. It’s just you gotta be, you gotta go get it.

You gotta find it. Yeah. It, 

[01:08:36] Amberly Lago: it’s really, um. It’s a choice. Yeah. And I, you know, to choose joy every day and to, I always say hump for the good, or I also like to say joy spotting. And so joy spotting, joy spotting. And so I’ll intentionally go out. And so I’m telling you this works because, um, we lost, and I know Sarah, who’s part of your team, has a tattoo that’s with her dog’s name.

And I’m, I have a fur baby. Her name was Goldie. She was her, and she was like my therapy dog. She went through every surgery with me and she was older, but died unexpectedly. And I, I don’t know if I’ve ever grew grieved that much. So I was so sad I could not stop crying and I thought, I just need a reprieve.

I just need some joy. And so, um, we put up our, I was like, I need to put the Christmas decorations and the Christmas trip ’cause that brings me joy. I was able to stop crying a little bit. It wasn’t like I was trying to ignore the pain it or stuff it down. It was just like I needed a little bit of joy. I needed a little reprieve.

And then I was still sad again. I was like, well, I need to go outside and do some joy spotting. And so I went to Home Goods and I love Home Goods. And the first thing I noticed when I walked in the store was a sign that says Joy. And so I bought it. I was like, okay, I am buying the Joy sign. Then I needed to go out and see people and smile at them and ask how they were doing.

Because when you can smile at somebody, it is contagious. And when you can ask them how they’re doing that joy, you know, I feel like when we share our pain, it’s divided and we share our joy. It’s multiplied. And so just to get out there and I think a change of environment really helps too. And so, um, even when I’m on Zoom marathons for work and I’m like, oh my gosh, how did I set up 12 zoom meetings today?

In between I will go out and my move my body. ’cause it moves my mood. I will take my shoes off and walk through the yard barefoot. I will cuddle with our new fur, baby nugget. Who’s the cutest thing ever? Um, hugging someone listening to music, dancing, um, thinking of what you’re grateful, grateful for. All these things just spark more joy.

[01:10:59] Charles Eide: Yeah. Yeah. Where do you get your joy? I mean, aside from all those things, 

[01:11:05] Amberly Lago: um, I think it’s intentional every day to start my day, um, on my knees. Uh, I have to admit this, this morning I did not start my day on my knees. I overslept. I don’t usually do that, but I did pray. But I prayed as I was walking, running, actually, because the Uber was on its way.

It, it is just rare for me to oversleep. But I usually start my day intentionally roll outta beds and drop down to my knees and intentionally thinking of what I’m grateful for. I have a gratitude practice and I say practice because I know it’s not always easy when you’re really struggling, but there’s always something to be grateful for.

And so I have, uh, accountability with a group of ladies. We call ourself the God squad and, and we text each other every day what we’re grateful for. And it’s one thing to feel it, it’s one thing to write it down, but to see what somebody else is grateful for and to know that you’re not alone. Um, and then I get joy by dancing.

You know, uh, you were talking about billionaire, the. And I was speaking at this event and it was all billionaires and me, and we had the dinner. And I like to take my daughter, my, my oldest is away at school, but my youngest, I like to take her with me whenever I can. And we’re sitting at this table and it’s all billionaires.

And me and one of the guys who’s an entrepreneur goes, Ruby, what’s something that your mom does that just really embarrasses you? And she, without hesitation goes, oh, she dances everywhere we go in Target in line at the grocery store in front of my friends. She dances and I’m like, it brings me joy. I can’t help it.

Especially if it’s some good music and a tile floor that I can do some pirouettes on. I don’t care. I’ll be in the middle of Target doing es. So yeah, dancing brings me joy. 

[01:12:54] Charles Eide: I love that. I always like to finish by asking, what do you want to be remembered for? 

[01:13:01] Amberly Lago: Um. I think remembered for showing people what’s possible, that believing in people and showing them that they, um, can have the life that they’ve always imagined no matter, even if things don’t go as planned or what their circumstances are.

And I wanna be remembered, uh, as somebody who was kind and, um, there to support and serve others. 

[01:13:27] Charles Eide: Yeah. That’s amazing. That’s a really great thing. You’re doing that already. Oh, thank you. Thanks for coming on the podcast, Kimberly. 

[01:13:36] Amberly Lago: Oh, thanks for having me. I’m so glad you made 

[01:13:38] Charles Eide: it happen. 

[01:13:38] Amberly Lago: Oh my gosh. I’m so grateful to be here.

Thank you. 

[01:13:42] Charles Eide: Hey, if you like this episode, make sure you subscribe, share it with somebody you like, and of course, make sure you check out my company id com. We produce conferences and events all over the US and if you know of a conference or an event that’s looking for the best company in the business, check out EideCom.com.