This One Habit Will Instantly Improve Your Communication | Renée Marino

Renée Marino: [00:00:00] There was a study done called the iPhone Effect, and it looked at two people in a conversation. There was a phone on the table. Neither person looked at the phone, neither person picked up the phone. But still, that phone proved to be a distraction. So when we’re in a meeting and we really take the time to make eye contact and eliminate distractions, think about how much those that we are leading are gonna feel seen, heard, and understood.

Introduction [0:00]

Charles Eide: This week on cleared for takeoff, I have a supernova with me. Her name is Renee Marino. She’s a bestselling author, she’s a global speaker, and she talks about energy and how to bring out the best version of yourself. For the world. 

Renee Marino: But if I need to have a heart to heart with you, my friend, we need the clearest communication possible.

So we need to hear one another’s voice. We need to read body language. We need to be able to make eye contact. ’cause no matter how advanced artificial intelligence gets, the one thing it can never replace is human connection. Michelangelo creating the David in this day and [00:01:00] age, he would never have been able to do what he did if he had all those distractions.

Charles Eide: Yeah, I don’t think my company would exist today had we had Instagram when I was in my teens, 

Renee Marino: when we were finished shooting for the day, I would sit and eat lunch with Clint Eastwood and they began talking about how Clint knew he wanted me for the role when he saw me perform on Broadway. So you can just wanna hear a funny story.

I never got an audition for the role of Mary. The only reason I got to read the scene is.

Charles Eide: Renee Marino. 

Renee Marino: Hello Charles. 

Charles Eide: Welcome to Cleared for Takeoff. 

Renee Marino: I’m so happy to be here. 

Charles Eide: You flew 

Renee Marino: literally right from the plane where I was cleared to take off. I came here, but I’m, you didn’t know you were bringing a comedian on. 

Charles Eide: Oh, man. All kinds of good stuff today. That’s it. Yep. You’re a communication expert.

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: And the world seems to be really disconnected and divided right now, and I wanted to just start by asking you, why do you [00:02:00] think that is? 

Why Are We So Disconnected? [2:02]

Renee Marino: Because there is a lack of real human connection. We’re all, we were just discussing it, addicted to our screens, addicted to the likes, addicted to the, the false sense of connection, and it’s causing so much strain within ourselves.

In our relationships in the world, we see it. And my mission really is to help people get back to that real human connection. Because no matter how advanced artificial intelligence gets, the one thing it can never replace is human connection. 

Charles Eide: It just feels like we’re so connected, but we’re so not connected.

Renee Marino: Oh, yeah. I say it all the time. It’s like we have more vessels through which to communicate than ever before, yet we’re more disconnected than ever before. How is that? And it’s because we are not what I call 

The Danger of Unconscious Communication [2:59]

Renee Marino: [00:03:00] consciously connecting. Mm-hmm. We send out that email, we send out that text, we, we, we hit send before we even have a second to look it back over.

And then we read it and we’re like, Ooh, that does not match the tone I was going for. And then we backpedal and we dig ourselves outta the hole. I have a funny story. This is something silly, but. This happens on a, on a grand scale as well. I was texting a friend of mine recently, and I intended to text, I Love you, you’re an angel.

So I do like we do. I text real quick and I throw my phone aside. I go do 40 other things. I come back like a half hour later and I pick up my phone and her response was like, question mark, question mark, question mark. And I was like, that’s weird. So I read back what I wrote and I wrote, I love you. You’re a bagel.

She’s like, what the heck? But like, that’s funny, right? That’s a silly example. But how often do we let that happen when it’s really important? Relationships, when it’s a business relationship and [00:04:00] we’re not taking the time to pause and to ask ourselves. These are two questions that I love to give to my clients.

I share this from stage. Before you send out a text, before you click, um, click or or write a post on social media, ask yourself number one. 

Two Questions Before You Hit Send [4:16]

Renee Marino: Would I be comfortable saying this in person? 

Charles Eide: Mm. 

Renee Marino: How often do you go on social media? Maybe LinkedIn, Facebook, and you see a friend of yours that you know on a very deep level and you read what they wrote and you’re like, who wrote this?

And what have they done with my friend? Because I know they would never have the confidence to say this in person. That’s what I call that keyboard confidence. But in order to be able to connect with each other in a real and genuine way, we have to be the same person who shows up on social media, the same one who shows up in person, like an interview here, the same one who shows up when you meet us in our neighborhood.

That’s what, what being a really grounded, authentic person is. Hmm, [00:05:00] you’re the same. No matter, no matter where you are. And it’s just, it’s such an issue that I see constantly. So the first question is. Would I be comfortable saying this in person? If you would be great, send that email, send that text, write that post.

If you wouldn’t be comfortable saying that in person, rewrite it the way you would be comfortable saying it. And then the second question is, does this message match me and my intention? Again, what I just shared, how often are we sending out emails so quick and we’re, we’re writing and we have grammatical errors and the tone of it sounds really cold and then we read it back and we’re like, oh my goodness, I may have just blown that opportunity.

Take the pause, read it back over. Okay. I am sending Charles this email response about being on his podcast. Okay, let me see what I said. You know, I’m gonna add a little exclamation point or a smiley emoji so he knows like I’m playful and before I [00:06:00] hit send, and it sounds silly, right? We are in this day and age of like emojis and, and putting in the proper emoji, but the truth is what we write is a representation of us.

And when we don’t take the time to consciously connect, we can find ourselves in really, really dangerous territory. 

Charles Eide: It’s interesting you mentioned what I say this in person, it’s like when you are in person with somebody. There’s like a face-to-face filter that’s running in your mind. 

Renee Marino: Yeah. 

Charles Eide: That does not occur to you when you’re on a, on an email or a text.

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: It’s very interesting ’cause that filter’s gone. 

Renee Marino: Yeah. A a hundred percent. You think about it, when we are behind a screen, whether here whether typing on our computer, it’s like a. It’s a mask. And I love the analogy, uh, of the Wizard of Oz. It’s one of my favorite movies. And Dorothy and her friends, they venture to the land of Oz to meet the great and powerful wizard, right?

And they get there and the first [00:07:00] time they, they walk in, they’re like shaking in their boots because it’s like smoke. And he has this big, deep voice, and he’s so intimidating until Toto pulls back the curtain to reveal, as Dorothy says, an insecure humbug and out walks the actual wizard, who’s this shy man?

Small stature, very soft spoken. But isn’t it so ironic that he could only help Dorothy and her friends when he did so from his real self when the mask was removed? He couldn’t help them when he was pretending. It’s the equivalent of, of how we act when we’re behind those screens. Like you said, we’re like, I’m gonna say this all, you know what I have, I have this comment to make about Charles, but he’s never gonna see me ’cause I’m behind my computer and we have this keyboard confidence that’s only, that that only happens behind a screen and a keyboard.

So when we’re face to face, like you said, that filter’s gone. And it’s like, oh, there he is. Hope he doesn’t read that thing that I wrote about him. You know what I [00:08:00] mean? And it’s, it’s, it’s creating such a disconnect in our world and I just, I really hope for all of us that we can get back to that real connection because that’s what life’s about.

You know, human beings, we are designed to connect. We’re Desi designed to help one another, be there for one another. And I really believe it’s time that we get back to that. 

Charles Eide: Yeah. It’s one of those things you don’t even think about. When you’re typing an email or texting, and I don’t, it’s so interesting.

Certain people have text etiquette that’s way colder than they are in person. I 

Renee Marino: absolutely, 

Charles Eide: I know a few people that stand out in my mind that I won’t say their names, but, but 

Renee Marino: he’ll type it. Just kidding. 

Charles Eide: But they’re like, they’re amazing people. Yeah. But then when you text with them, you feel like you’re talking to a robot.

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: You [00:09:00] know? 

Renee Marino: Uh oh. I’ve experienced it time and time again. That’s why I, I wrote a book about it because I’m like, wait a second, something is wrong here. This is why we find so many issues amongst people’s relationships because it’s like, wait, I was just with Charles. We had this amazing conversation, and now I’m texting him and he seems really cold, and then this is what happens.

Tell me if this is, you’ve experienced this, someone texts you, maybe this person you’re speaking of, you text them, they text you back, and the way you read it, you’re like, oh, that’s kind of cold and now what’s happening? Right? You’re, you’re making assumptions about what their intention is. So then you sit back and you’re like, okay, alright, Renee, maybe she’s, maybe, maybe she’s upset about something I said, and then you text me back from that place of assuming, and before we know it, we’re like in this like text disagreement and we haven’t even spoken.

Yeah. And it’s, I call it assumption, animosity. Animosity from assuming what [00:10:00] one means to be true. And this happens all the time. I have seen relationships. Disintegrate because of of a texting argument. And I always say, what would happen if you just took the two seconds to dial their phone number on the phone?

Remember a phone call. Remember those? I can guarantee within five minutes it would be resolved. Or that person that you’re thinking of, I’m sure what if you picked up the phone? They’d be like, what’s up Charles? And you’d be like, oh yeah, there they are again. And then crisis averted. But we don’t do that.

We don’t have the time to pick up the phone. I know for some of the younger generations now, it’s intrusive. If you call me on the phone and it’s like, no, we need to have that next level of communication because when we’re on a phone call, we can hear our, our pacing, we can, we can read the cues through the way our breathing pattern is, right?

It’s these extra level of communication patterns [00:11:00] that help us. But we’re all in a rush. We’re all doing 25 things at once, and research shows because of digital technology, our brains have begun to speed up. I know. I feel it every day. I’m like, okay, wait. I send out the text, I’m sending the email, and then I sit back and I’m like, what day is it again?

What am I doing? And it’s because we’re moving so fast. But the truth is, our brains were not designed to number one take in as much information as we take in. I mean, it’s, it’s insane. And we’re not designed. To do what we call multitask, which isn’t even an actual thing. It’s called task switching. And every time we switch tasks, we, we take away from the specific things we’re doing.

We, we limit our potential because you’re doing so many things at once. So it’s, yeah, it’s something that I believe if we can all prioritize that [00:12:00] authentic communication and connection, ugh, it would be such a more harmonious place to live. 

Charles Eide: Where did you learn all this? It seems like you’ve been. You’ve been practicing this for a long time.

Renee Marino: Yes, I have been practicing it. And you know Charles, it’s such a good question ’cause I had to think about it myself as well. Some people are like, oh, I mean you do communication, so did you graduate from Harvard with a degree in communication? I’m like, no, I lived it baby. And really, I believe the best teachers are the ones who have experienced it.

And I grew up in an Italian American family, so you would always find us, you’re a tech, never, I don’t believe it. You’d always find us sitting around a kitchen table just like this, communicating, eating number one, but communicating, sometimes arguing, but nonetheless connecting and talking about what’s going on.

And I remember if I ever had anything. Bothering me or something going on, my parents would say to me four words that I never realized until later in life, how much [00:13:00] they shaped me. But they said, let’s talk about it. So that was natural for me. So I’m the person, if something’s going on, I’m like, Charles, we gotta talk about it.

Right? That’s, that’s just who I am. So I was always obsessed with communication and how people communicate and why they do in the way they do, because I just recognized that this was one of the skill sets that could really make or break a relationship. And I’ve had situations, unfortunately, in my own life and my personal life where relationships have been destroyed because of.

Ineffective communication. And it’s, to me, it’s the most frustrating thing because it’s something that can so easily be fixed. But so many of us, we avoid and we assume that communication means confrontation, but the truth is communication does not mean confrontation. And by believing they’re one in the same.

We’re denying ourselves such beautiful opportunities for [00:14:00] connection. 

Charles Eide: How do we get better at, so a lot of business owners, CEOs of any size company they deal with having a workforce full of people that grew up talking on the phone. And then the, the newer, younger generations, that’s a little intrusive, like you said, and they have different communication styles.

How do you tailor your company to have that more authentic, um, conversational. You know what I mean? Absolutely. How, how, how do you take those people who maybe aren’t so good at the connection and help them become better at it? How do you coach ’em into it? 

Leading by Example: Communication in the Workplace [14:41]

Renee Marino: The best leaders lead by being and not just by telling.

It’s like your children. They’re watching you. You can give them all the advice in the world, but then if you do something else different, what are they gonna do? They’re gonna model that behavior when, when we are in the leadership role, it’s such a [00:15:00] vital role because it all starts from the top down. So number one is lead by doing the thing that you want others to do, which means put your phone out of sight when you’re in an in-person meeting, or E, even when you’re on Zoom.

There was a study done called the iPhone Effect, and it looked at two people in a conversation just like you and I, and. There was a phone on the table. Neither person looked at the phone, neither person picked up the phone. But still, that phone proved to be a distraction. So think about how powerful this is for us as leaders to just implement that little thing of putting our phones out of sight.

So when we’re in a meeting, whether it’s over zoom or whether in person like this, and we really take the time to make eye contact and eliminate distractions, think about how much those that we are leading are gonna feel seen, heard, and understood. That’s all the human spirit wants, whether we realize that consciously or unconsciously.

So that’s step one. [00:16:00] Lead by doing the thing that you want others to do. And number two, communicate about it. There’s that word again. Why can’t you just communicate? That’s a song I wrote by the way, in 2008. I’ve always been obsessed with communication, so have monthly. Maybe it could be twice a month.

Meetings where you all gather and you talk about as the leader, listen. Everything starts with communication. And for our company to work as a team to help our clients in the most effective way we can, we have to be what I call master communicators. So let’s talk about, let’s have an open conversation about how we all feel the most comfortable communicating.

Have an open conversation about it, and then close out that meeting with guidelines about how we wanna communicate as a team. When something is really important. I mean, we’re talking about something serious that cannot be in a text or an email that must be face to face. And if we can’t be [00:17:00] face to face, it has to be on a zoom.

I mean, how great is that to have that clarity? Because clarity is power. And when you set that up as the leader, you better believe that those you’re leading, they’re gonna just follow suit. 

Charles Eide: It’s interesting that you say the the have this conversation in person thing because. It seems like we all use technology as a way to get out of in-person communication.

I mean, I even feel it sometimes I’ll get a text like, Hey, we need to meet and talk about this. And I’m like, I don’t know. Can you just tell me what you wanna talk about? Just text it to me. You know? 

Renee Marino: Yeah. 

Charles Eide: But you don’t resolve the same 

Renee Marino: No. 

Charles Eide: You don’t get the same result? 

Renee Marino: No, because technology take texting.

Texting vs. Real Connection [17:53]

Renee Marino: It was created for convenience, not connection. I always say. [00:18:00] Texting is the best for what you and I were texting about. Charles, what’s the address again? What’s the suite? Blah, blah, blah. Right? Those quick, just informative things that we need to know on the spot, but if I need to have a heart to heart with you, my friend, it should not be on text.

Because again, we need the clearest communication possible. So we need to hear one another’s voice. We need to read body language. We need to be able to make eye contact. I mean, those old school manners, I call them, do not go out of style, and they make such a difference when it comes to really connecting with another person.

So yes, we all feel that sometimes that dread because we’re conditioned in that way. Now again, we’re all conditioned to be fast, quick, well, what’s a thing you have to tell me about? So that’s why we have to be the change we wish to see. We have to consciously connect and before we send out that response of, oh, just send it through a text, ask yourself.

Is this really important? Can this be resolved through a text [00:19:00] message or do I need to at least hop on a video call, hop on a Zoom? One of the greatest tools that I use are voice memos. Then you could hear my voice. You could at least get a sense of what my energy is, because that’s one better level of communication than just the written word, right?

Voice memos. The next, and I love this one because it’s a nice surprise for the person on the other end. If someone sends me a text and they’re like, oh, Renee wanted to know, oh, you’re gonna be in town. Can we grab a a, a drink or a coffee? I’ll send them back a video message. Hey Charles, I just wanted you to see my face ’cause I’m so excited to see you when I come to do your podcast.

Yes, let’s definitely book a a coffee date and I’ll see you soon. Like it’s so fun because number one, it’s a surprise. And number two, it’s that next level of communication. And just think about this in this. Digitally driven world we live in. Think about how you’re gonna separate yourself [00:20:00] from the masses when you just use these simple tweaks.

That’s it. Simple, simple things that make a huge difference to connect with your guests, with your team, with your team members, with your family. I mean, there’s nothing more important than your family. Instead of sitting around the table and all being on your devices, like put, put the phone outta sight.

All right, phone’s off. Dinner time is conversation time. Like it’s gonna just make you stand out in such a beautiful way. And then we set the example for others to do the same. 

Charles Eide: I think about how many times I’ve had to tell my kids to put the screens down. 

Renee Marino: Oof. 

Charles Eide: How do you get. Your family time to be more, I mean, obviously like, hey, put the, 

Renee Marino: yeah.

Charles Eide: Put the iPad down. Yeah. How do you create an environment at home that encourages better [00:21:00] connection? 

Renee Marino: Mm, 

Creating Connection at Home with Kids [21:00]

Renee Marino: make it fun. You know, Joy’s like the best, Joy’s. Joy’s my favorite thing in the world. I believe it’s the ultimate creator. It’s the ultimate attractor. So for my nieces and nephews, I don’t have children of my own, but we have beautiful nieces and nephews that we love so much.

And for example, when they come over for Thanksgiving or Easter, we have, we do a little sleepover with them and we die Easter eggs. And you know, they’re trying to get those iPads out and I’m like. Guys, you know the rules and I make it fun. So what I’ll do, like Thanksgiving, I get, um, a box of like all their favorite candies and things.

And I created this tradition where they, they know the box there. They’re like, t they call me tt. They’re like, tt, can we have the candy? I’m like, oh, after we eat. And then we get out the box. But before we, they’re able to take the piece of candy that they have, they, they have to go around and say three things they’re grateful for.

And we sit in a circle and all of them express themselves and then they get the candy. And it’s just, that’s so simple, right? But it’s a moment where there’s no phones, there’s no devices, it’s [00:22:00] just connecting. And, and we make it fun and just remind them. About these principles you and I are talking about.

Yeah. Do you know guys, when you are a great communicator, that is one of the greatest skills that you can possess as you get older. ’cause what do you wanna be when you grow up? That’s who you wanna be. Guess what? If you know how to communicate and you know how to look someone in the eye and make them feel seen, you’ll be the first to get the job.

You’ll be the first to reach that goal or dream. And, and just they, they’re like sponges children es especially young children. So just reminding them of this and just be the example for them when you’re home with your wife, when you can put the phone away, show that affection. I know you and your wife are so beautiful and loving together.

I love watching you guys when I see you on social media. And it’s beautiful because it’s an example for your kids. So just, you know, the, the quote by Gandhi is one of my favorites. Be the change you wish to see in the world. [00:23:00] 

Charles Eide: The. Human connection that we all want, it seems like is, it’s not like these kids were born with phones in their hand, nor is it in our DNA to, to want to connect that way.

We weren’t, it doesn’t seem like we were made to connect that way. It’s like this artificial thing. It is. It’s, it’s so frustrating. 

Renee Marino: It is. And I say one of the things that I, I teach, especially when I started my own business, was I was teaching business owners and entrepreneurs to get on camera, get on video, and be themselves.

So it’s called connecting on camera. And that’s so hard for so many people. For so many That’s so hard for so many people to do. Did I say that right? Yeah. You know, you say something that sounds so weird. Anyway, um, see, imperfection baby. We’re all imperfect. Um, one of the things for all of my clients would be like.

Like, this just feels unnatural. I’m like, of course it’s unnatural. We don’t come out of the womb knowing how to get on camera. It’s not a normal, natural thing, right? Yeah. But [00:24:00] just like anything, it’s practice. Practice is what makes progress. And for me, my background, I was a performer Broadway TV film. It was practice.

I mean, every day I was honing my craft every day. I had to treat my body like the, like the tool and, and the vessel that it was to help me to get on stage and to get on camera. But that’s not natural. So it really is a practice, and I’m just getting back. This year I decided I want to start reading the Bible.

And my cousin, all of my girl cousins, we all got the Bibles and it’s like, read the, uh, 365, uh, the Bible in 365 days. And it’s really, it’s great because it gives you little piece of the Old Testament, new Testament, the Psalms and proverbs. So it, it’s just digestible. And just the other day I was reading in one of the gospels and it was talking about how Jesus taught through parables.

Jesus taught through [00:25:00] story, story, connecting face to face. He taught, he, he shared these stories. He wasn’t doing it through text messages, you know what I mean? He was like, yo, Matthew, yo, yo Matthew, lemme tell you like he was, he was sitting on a rock in real time with people letting them feel seen and heard and, and, and explaining these beautiful teachings through stories.

So to go back to your point, yes, it’s not natural. It’s, it’s something that. Is conditioned and we’ve learned to do, but all we are as human beings are a set of patterns, a set of habits and beliefs. Like that’s it. Think about it. Habits and beliefs. So what’s the habit that most of us are creating? We’re sitting there and if there’s five seconds without something going on, we grab our phones.

Right. I laugh. It’s 

Charles Eide: so true. 

Renee Marino: It’s like the craziest thing, right? Like back in the day I would be in like a doctor’s office, the waiting room and what do you do? You grab a magazine and you’re like, hi, how are you? Oh my [00:26:00] gosh, you’re from New Jersey too. Me too. Right? You make small talk. Sometimes that person ended up knowing the same people you do.

Maybe it was the person you fell in love with, like these beautiful opportunities through small talk. Now I laugh ’cause I, I still, I love small talk. I’m still old school in that way and I’ll walk, you know, sit in the office and I smile at everybody and like, I’ll smile and I get the weirdest looks like people are like, I’m not even kidding.

It’s like I. And I’m like, whoa, I just said hello. I didn’t ask for $500. Like, it’s all right, calm down. But it’s because that’s the habit we’ve created. So to make it very simple, we want a new way of being. We just gotta create a new habit. You know what, just like I shared when we’re in a meeting, don’t have the phone out on the table.

Put it out of sight. How easy is that? Everyone listening right now can do that today, starting today. And it’s those simple shifts that make such a huge difference. And before you know it, you’re creating a new habit when you walk in your house, all right, phone goes on, do not disturb [00:27:00] when we’re sitting at the dinner table.

And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And now you’re creating a new habit. 

Charles Eide: I’m, 

Breaking the Social Media Addiction [27:06]

Charles Eide: I’m making an effort lately to not scroll Instagram as much, which actually. When I had Dan on the podcast, he made me more aware of the fact that this, this, uh, desire to constantly be checking what’s going on is really bad for your brain.

Renee Marino: So bad. 

Charles Eide: Like real turns you into a zombie. 

Renee Marino: Oh, it does. 

Charles Eide: But now that I’ve slowed down, I probably cut it in half. Uh, I have people around me that are like, well, didn’t you see the real I sent you? And I’m like, uh, I, I’m trying, I’m trying here, man. I’m really trying. 

Renee Marino: It’s like the drug addict with the drug dealer.

You’re like, I’m trying to step out of the neighborhood, bro, but like, you keep calling me about, you know what I mean? But it’s, I I, I know exactly what you’re taught, what you’re referring to, what you’re talking about. ’cause I do the same thing where I’m like, okay, I, I talk to myself. I’m like, Renee. Like, you don’t need to check into [00:28:00] Instagram between each meeting.

Like just stop. But then you’re right, you get the message. Didn’t you respond like we’re expected to respond and to be on at all times. Yeah, but think about like back in the day, I love this, uh, example. One of the, one of the books that I was reading in, in, in research was it called, I Hope I Don’t Mess This Alone Together.

That might have been the title of it. I’ll get back to you. Let me 

Charles Eide: check my phone. I’ll look it 

Renee Marino: up. Yeah. Hold on. Well, the author talks about how now when we’re in conversations, people don’t think anything of you’re talking to me and I take it on my phone. I’m like, I called half listening, right? And I’m like, oh yeah.

What’d you say? Charles Uhhuh. Yep. She’s like, could you imagine back in the day, the days of snail mail, physical mail? If while we’re in a conversation, I bust out my mail with like a, with a envelope opener and I’m like reading my bills, checking 

Charles Eide: your bills. 

Renee Marino: Right? Like how rude would that be? But people 

Charles Eide: don’t No, no, no.

It’s fine. I’m just, I’m just paying my electric bill. 

Renee Marino: It’s fine. [00:29:00] Lemme get my credit card out. Go. Keep going. Hold on. Like, but it’s the same. We are doing the same thing, but because it’s these smaller devices, we think it’s okay, but it’s not, it is a sign of disrespect when we’re distracted. 

Charles Eide: Mm-hmm. 

Renee Marino: I share about this from stage.

I’m doing a keynote in two days, and that’s one of the. Principles I talk about is when we appear to be distracted in a conversation that can be taken as a sign of disrespect. I know. I feel it. 

Charles Eide: Even if it’s just subconscious. 

Renee Marino: It’s so subconscious. 

Charles Eide: Do you know who Jefferson Fisher is? 

Renee Marino: I love him. 

Charles Eide: I just saw him on 

Renee Marino: Diary 

Charles Eide: of the CEO and he did this string thing.

Did you see that? 

Renee Marino: No. It’s so funny. It’s on my list of, of podcasts I need to watch. 

Charles Eide: So good. But he holds this string between him and Steven and he’s like holding the string and they’re talking and then as Steven’s answering one of his like, you know, Hey, how’s it going? Or what’d you do this weekend? He starts loosening the string and looking at his phone.

He’s like, mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. And this, the tension goes away, you know, like the connection goes away. Yes. And he [00:30:00] was like, how did that make you feel when I pulled out my phone? And you know, actually observing how it made you feel because people, we do it to each other all day long, constantly. And I’m.

I, I struggle with it myself. I mean, it’s, 

Renee Marino: so do I, that’s why I could speak about it. 

Charles Eide: I’m like, sorry. There’s, like, my whole team is probably laughing right now because they’re used to me being like, yeah, hold on a second. 

Renee Marino: Yeah. 

Charles Eide: Okay. You, 

Speaking Up as Your Superpower [30:22]

Charles Eide: you’re a big believer in energy. 

Renee Marino: Oh, yes. 

Charles Eide: And, um, manifesting and all this.

And there’s someone really special in your life that I’m like the biggest fan of ever. Me too. Um, uh, Tony Robbins. 

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: But now you and Tony are pretty tight now. 

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: But obviously that’s been a journey. 

Renee Marino: Yeah. 

Charles Eide: How did that all start and how did you get so connected to Tony, and more importantly, what have you learned by being with him in, in, in what you’ve applied?

Meeting Tony Robbins [30:55]

Renee Marino: I could cry thinking about it because I, I love him so much. I have been [00:31:00] learning from him for decades. Like I can remember 

Charles Eide: Me too, 

Renee Marino: living in la. With my cd, remember those? And like I’d put the CD in the car drive around LA when I was auditioning and just like doing his incantations. And, and it’s funny because I shared I’ll, I’m gonna share a story with you in a minute.

Um, I sing his incantations ’cause I’m a singer, so I’m like, every day in every way I am getting stronger. And like, because he’s like, you know, every day in every way I’m getting clearer and clearer and like, I would like sing it as I’m on the treadmill in the car. But I’ve learned so much from him. 

Renee’s Journey into Communication & Business [31:38]

Renee Marino: In 2020 I decided to start my own business.

Didn’t even know what that meant. I didn’t even know what an entrepreneur really meant. You know, my background is in performing. I was on Broadway for many years and, and reaching Broadway was always my childhood dream. It was my hobby since I was a little girl singing, dancing, acting, and through [00:32:00] tons of years of hard work and.

So much rejection. I say, I’m like a professional reject, you know what I’m saying? Like I’ve heard no more than anybody can imagine. Um, in 2020, my last Broadway show I did, I started writing my book, becoming a Master Communicator. I’d be doing eight shows a week. I was doing a pretty woman, the musical, like the movie, and I’d get off stage and the crew guys would let me use their room and I’d be writing.

So when the show closed, there was this feeling within me that was like, you know, I’m ready to activate my other gifts. Maybe I wanna become a speaker. I, I definitely wanna get my book traditionally published. And then, uh, Tony and his partner Dean Graziosi, I see them pop up on a video on social media about this course called KBB.

And it’s all about how to start your own business. I’m like, this is what I need. I’m just jumping in imperfectly like I do. And. It was 2020, like a month before COVID hit. Mm. And I started taking this [00:33:00] online course. So people are like, oh, this was your COVID pivot. I’m like, no, no, no. Like I decided this. And I never said, oh, I’m done with performing.

Never. But I was just like, I wanna try a new chapter for now. So I’m taking this course every day. I’d take the course, I would, I would show up online, and now the world shut down. So right after I took this course, that’s when Tony and Dean started doing these like online summits. They were called Challenges.

Charles Eide: I remember that. 

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: Seeing ads for 

Renee Marino: it. Yes. And it was free. So Dean had the first one, and it was called the the Start over Challenge. So what you do, you’d sign up and you’d join this free Facebook group, and every day Dean would come in for a week teach, and then your homework was to go live in the Facebook group and talk about whatever the material was for that day.

A hundred thousand people in the group. And I’ll never forget this, Charles, I. Do my video for the first day and I’m just being me and like, I’m kind of a hot mess. Like I just got outta the gym and like I’m sweating and [00:34:00] I’m, I’m like all over at the camera. Like, Hey guys, her Renee Marino here. And whatever it was on that day, maybe limiting beliefs we were talking about.

So I post my video and that day I get like a flood of messages from people in the group being like, oh my God, how’d you do that? Can you teach me how to do that? And I remember being like, what the heck are they talking about? Like, what did I do? I’m a hot mess. I’m sweating. I just got outta the gym. And then after like the second or third day of this happening, I was like, oh my goodness, they’re asking me how to get on camera and just be myself.

’cause I was like, oh, nobody knows how to get on video. It’s COVID. Right? Most people have never done this. So the end of that week, uh, Dean’s team reaches out to me and says, Dean would love to interview you live in front of the the group. And I’m like. Amazing because he had been seeing me show up and people commenting.

So we have this great conversation. I tell him, um, my story about, um, Clint Eastwood, which we can talk about in a moment, and afterwards he’s like, I’d love [00:35:00] to have you on my podcast. You know, his top 1% podcast. A month later, Tony has his challenge. 300,000 people in the group. Okay. Same thing happens, 

Charles Eide: just 300,000, just, you 

Renee Marino: know, no biggie from all over the world, like 192 different countries.

I’m like, this is cool. I’m like, in my house. So. This keeps happening people, oh my gosh, can you teach me how to do this? And I was like, what is going on here? Like, isn’t it funny, like when you don’t try right that energy again of just like being in flow, like being peaceful. All of a sudden people are like, ke teach me how to do this.

I’m like, teach you to do what? So the end of that week, every day they’d pick like three people’s videos. Who stood out? I get picked on like day three. I win one of his courses that I already had or one of his programs. And then the last day, his national speaker was like, and one person delivered so much value to this group every day.

Renee Marino, you just won five days to Tony Robbins private resort in Fiji. And I’m like, what? I’m like, what is the hap? It was crazy. It was amazing. So [00:36:00] that’s just to be clear, that’s like the first introduction to me and Tony through video. So people, this is the power of video and showing up on video to create connection number one.

Six. Oh no. I go about doing my thing. I get my first book publishing deal. My book gets published six months later. We’re still in the heart of COVID. Dean’s team reaches out and says, Dean wants to know if you would like to co-host his first ever world summit. I’m like, heck yeah. So I co-host this event and I meet Tony there for a second, literally a hot second, and like, because I love him so much, the first thing I could think of when he’s six seven tall butt gets on stage and I’m five one.

I was like, Tony, thank you so much. Can I hug you? And that’s it. I hug him and he like kissed the top of my head. That was the first time I met him. Great. Go about my business. You know, I’m, I’m developing my business. I’m now speaking all over on stages and in 2024, Dean’s [00:37:00] team reaches out again and says, listen.

Dean’s launching this new program and he wants to use three testimonials of people who have gone through their programs and he’d love to feature you. And I’m like, oh my God. Amazing. So they sent a camera crew to New York. They like filmed me for a whole day and then Dean interviews me live. It was so great.

So that’s how we kind of got reconnected. And then last year, or like the end of, yeah, the end of 2024, November, Dean was like, listen, I don’t know if you’d be interested but. Tony has this free virtual challenge, um, free virtual event that he summit that he hosts. Um, I think this might be a great spot for you to host.

And I was like, yes. And again, like Tony hadn’t really met me in person. So I do this summit, we film it from his basement and it was so incredible, Charles, because at first he was just getting to see me through video. Like I would video doing the [00:38:00] pitch. ’cause I not only hosted, but like I did the sales pitch, which was amazing.

So I would send it back and forth and they would give me feedback and I’d send the video again. But then being in person where we really got to connect in person, it was just so magical because not only. Do you get a sense of who a person truly is? But him and I have such, like we’re cut from the same cloth.

We, we have the same work ethic. He walks his walk, which is something that integrity is everything to me. So working with him last year for that first time where he was like coaching me, like we’re talking about the pitch and I’m like, changing it this way and, and we just got to really be in each other’s presence.

It was, it was just incredible because he, I would watch him from the side of stage. I’m like a sponge like you. And as I would do, you know, I would host and then I would come off the side of stage and I would just observe him and I could get, I get chills thinking of it. I would watch him, and I do this all the time now.

[00:39:00] I watch this man who has helped millions and millions of people to transform their lives, who doesn’t have to do another damn thing if he never wants to again. But he cares so much that I watch him when he’ll show videos of people’s lives who’ve been transformed. A lot of these videos, like he’s seen these millions of times.

This could be his time to take a break, go get a sandwich. Like I’d be like, I need a coffee. Or he sits there, Charles, and I watch him watching with tears in his eyes. He doesn’t move. It could be 15, 20 minutes. And I’m just watching him being like, this is what someone living their God-given purpose is all about.

And I just, I learn from him every day. After every day of the summit, we do a debrief. What worked, what didn’t work. He gets the whole team together. People who are virtual, people who are in person, like he cares so much. And I tell him all the time, I’m like, tone. [00:40:00] You are such an example of literally like, I know it’s not just you, that is God working through you.

He’s like, no, you’re right. Because it’s one thing seeing him from his basement, but then when you see him at his live events, like I did Date With Destiny, my husband and I, six days watching this man for 14 hours on stage, jump up and down, like light people up, help these people who are suicidal. It’s like Charles, I, I cry thinking about it because I’m like, thank you God for allowing me to be in the presence of someone who is exactly who you hope he is.

Charles Eide: Yeah. It’s funny that 2024 event that you were on in his basement, I was watching and that’s how I found out about you. And I remember going, this is an exceptional person. I don’t know her, but someday I want to meet her. And it’s the weirdest thing because I was like. If I ever start a podcast, she is gonna be like top [00:41:00] of the list and you manifest it.

Okay. I did because, so this is crazy. So how weird is this? So I’m thinking this and I go to that Aspire event. 

Renee Marino: Yes. David Melcher’s dinner. 

Charles Eide: David Melcher’s dinner. And you’re sitting at my table. 

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: And I’m like, I think that’s her. You said her. I think that’s her. And I was like, what’s your name? And you were like, we’re Oh, nice to meet you.

We’re Renee Marino. I’m like.

I freaking manifested this. 

Renee Marino: Yeah. Remember you saying it? 

Charles Eide: I was like, what the heck is going on? I could not believe it. I was blown away. And I told this story to my daughter Evelyn, who’s uh, she’s 15 now. And I said, let me tell you the power of like belief and manifestation. Yes. We’re driving this morning.

And I was like, let me tell you how I got to know Renee and how this all came to be. And she’s like, no way. That’s not possible. And I was like, I know, I don’t, it’s not possible. Yes. But guess who’s coming to the [00:42:00] studio today? And I so it, it gave me so much reassurance that all those things that I have studied that Tony has taught 

Renee Marino: Yes.

Charles Eide: Is so real. I mean, we sit here today because of that. 

Renee Marino: Oh, a hundred percent. I remember Charles, I was just telling my friend this, I said Charles and I met when I was here in September. 

Charles Eide: Yep. 

Renee Marino: And. It was even before I, we realized we were sitting together. I walked in the door and you looked at me and you were like, Renee Marino.

And you go, I, and it wasn’t 2024. It was 2020 Charles. It was the first, that first world summit that far away that long, long ago. You said, I had you on in my office. Yep. You said, watch this girl. Mm-hmm. And I remember, I, I just so you know, I journaled about it. I was like, how beautiful. Like, I’m so honored that this man remembered me from what, six years ago.

Charles Eide: That’s true actually. 

Renee Marino: And you told me that. Yeah. And I didn’t forget that. Yeah. And then when you said about you gotta come on the podcast, and I knew I was coming out here to speak, I was [00:43:00] like, heck yeah. 

Charles Eide: Blew me away. Yeah. I can’t believe that. Yep. Um, so since then, you’ve done a whole bunch of stuff. 

Renee Marino: Yes.

Charles Eide: What I want to know is what are the, what are the biggest lessons you’ve taken away? Like aside from watching Tony Robbins be the person that he is. Mm. But what have you learned from him about. How to create success and happiness in your life. 

Renee Marino: It’s about showing up. It’s that simple. And it, it’s funny, like I said, sometimes like I laugh, like one day I was like tone, I, I was practicing.

So the the pitch, right, the, the, the offering that we were giving to attendees and we’re going through it and we’re sitting together and we’re like changing things. And then I get up there and I’m like going through it, like in, in front of the camera just to feel it. And this is something that my work ethic has been, I believe it’s one of [00:44:00] my greatest skill sets.

I just was always like full out a hundred percent. And that’s tone. And. Being around him just reiterates it more for me. So I get up there after we like change things around, and I get up there to just kind of like run through it because I believe in the power of verbalizing, right? When we’re trying to memorize something, when we’re practicing a speech, a talk, we must verbalize get it out.

Because when we verbalize, we magnify and maximize what we’re hearing, allowing it to like lock into our nervous systems. So I get up there and tone’s sitting over there and like, I’m as tall as him when he is sitting, right? And, and I’m like in front of the camera and I’m like, okay. So today we’re offering, and both of us, he’s saying it and I’m saying it and we don’t realize it.

We’re both saying it. And he looks over, he goes, oh my God, we’re even doing the same hand motions. Like, it was like, I was like, yeah, I’m a little nette. Like, um, no tone, a little tone net. But it’s just, it’s, it’s a reminder of showing up fully no matter if it’s a [00:45:00] practice, a rehearsal the day before, like. I believe, and I know Tony believes this, like we have one life to live.

Why would we show up in any capacity? Not giving a hundred percent. And when I work with him in any, in any sense of the word, we just did, we flew to, um, we were in Los Angeles right before, uh, Christmas for this a hundred billion meals challenge. Like he’s, 

Charles Eide: he wants to feed the world. 

Renee Marino: Oh yeah. He’s already well on his way.

Yeah. He’s already, he’s already fed over a billion people. Wow. It’s amazing. So what he did is he partnered with Jimmy Jam, one of the world’s top producers, and they did something like, if you remember, heal the World. 

Charles Eide: Mm-hmm. 

Renee Marino: Same thing, but it’s called the Next Verse. So I went out and I was the host for this amazing event, and it was very last minute, like I found out about it two days before.

Okay. So I didn’t even know the script. Except the morning of, but I’m like, that’s it. We gotta show up. Right? So Tony gets there and he’s like, you [00:46:00] know, thank you so much for doing this. And we just laughed about this. ’cause he is like, this is different than what we usually do. I was like, it’s all right.

We’re doing it. We’re just doing it. Let’s show up. Right. So it’s that idea of showing up whether you have all the information, you don’t have all the information show up imperfectly. Right. Imperfect action. Taking those action steps even when you’re afraid, even when you don’t know what the next five steps are.

Just show up. And when you, when you bring that energy to everything you do, that’s when the miracles happen. 

Charles Eide: You always, every time I’ve interacted with you, you’re always at a hundred percent it’s, yeah. There’s never a different version of you and I, I wanna know, why do you think we. Why do you think we hold ourselves?

Why do we reserve? Why are we reserved? Mm-hmm. Like I feel that my myself, yeah. Is like, is like, oh, I don’t want to be overly over the top. You know? I don’t want to be too much. Why do you think we do that? 

Renee Marino: Because, is 

Charles Eide: it because we’re scared? 

Renee Marino: Yes. We have that voice, right? That voice in our heads, we [00:47:00] all have it.

That voice that’s like, Renee, who are you to speak to? Charles like you, you’re probably his least favorite guest. Who are you to speak on stage? I’m not good enough. I’m not good looking up. They’re smart enough. Anybody else? Like, I’m gonna raise both hands. We all have that voice, right? And that voice is just a culmination of all the other voices we’ve heard in our lives, in our lives, the trauma we’ve went through.

But it’s also a voice that’s doing exactly what it was designed to do to protect us. It wants to protect us from failure. It wants to protect us from embarrassment. And what so many of us do is we try to fight that voice, right? We’re like, no, no. Or we ignore it, or we push it away. But I love to encourage.

My clients, uh, people who listen when I’m speaking from stage. Instead of doing that, thank that voice. Thank it. Because it’s just like a parent. I’m sure to your daughter, zip our up, your jacket. You wanna catch cold. Be careful doing that. What? Look both ways when you cross the road, it’s just that voice of protection.

So [00:48:00] when we learn to thank it, now what we do is we allow that voice to lessen and that voice of our inner self, our gut instincts, our gut intuition, whatever label you’d like to give it. At the end of the day, it’s the truest part of ourselves and it’s our inner compass that always knows exactly what we need to do, how we need to do it, what we need to say.

And when we start operating from that voice, that’s when. As I said, the miracles start to happen. So the reason we have that voice is because that’s normal. That’s natural. We’re supposed to right protection. So you have that 

Charles Eide: voice too. 

Renee Marino: Oh my goodness, are you kidding me? Constantly I say I lived a whole life, like many of us, of perfectionism.

I mean, being a performer, oh my God, Renee, you suck. You’re not good enough. The only way I knew to handle myself was to beat the crap out of myself. Oh my gosh, you’re not doing this good enough. My old Tony would call it, my old primary [00:49:00] question was, what is wrong with me? What is wrong with you, Renee? Why can’t you do this better?

What is wrong with you, Renee? Why don’t you look like that person? Why aren’t you good enough? Oh yeah, Charles, this is why I can speak on it. If someone hasn’t experienced something, don’t listen to their advice. Okay? ’cause they don’t know. I know this so well. I’m so intimate with this voice because lemme tell you, it has tortured me until I learned to start working with it.

And this is a fun practice. I give, start to name the voice. So I call mine Judy. So Judy, when Judy acts up and she’s like, Renee, who are you? Oh my God, why’d you wear that alpha today for the podcast? Like, you look ridiculous. I’m like, all right, Judy, I hear you, girl. But I got this. And, and think about it.

It’s like a bully. Like when you start to be like, okay, I’m not afraid of you anymore. And you just thank it. Thank you, Judy. Now she calms down, and then my truest self is like Renee. A, it doesn’t matter what your outfit is, you’re helping people through what you’re sharing, so it’s not about you. And then like Ru Renee [00:50:00] pops in and I’m like, we’re good.

Right? Like it, it’s just about managing it with love. Just like anything. And when you work with it, you don’t fight it. You don’t push it away. Now you’re like, okay. When Judy starts to say things that aren’t nice, I’m like, Judy. We know better. Talk to yourself in the car. It’s great. 

Charles Eide: So you, so you acknowledge the voice.

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: And you named the voice. 

Renee Marino: Yes. I’m gonna name 

Charles Eide: my voice. 

Renee Marino: Yeah. I’m telling you it’s the best. So I just spoke 

Charles Eide: Judy 

Renee Marino: last week at Ohio Northern University. It was amazing. I spoke to the, the theater students. I did a three hour master class. And then I spoke, I did my keynote for the Business and Communications department and I brought up this practice and they loved it.

I was like, does anyone wanna share their name? Oh my gosh. I had people raising, they’re like, yep, mine’s Patricia. I’m like, you want Patricia and Judy to hang out? They’ll hang out together. We’re gonna put them over there. Like, you love it? ’cause it makes it fun. And it lets hopefully everyone listening know that they’re not alone.

They are [00:51:00] not alone. And I wanna say this, whoever you’re admiring on social media, whoever you’re doing the s and c to, you know, scroll and compare. Compare yourself to their perceived reality. Understand that they go through this too. Nobody’s posting photos of when they’re crying in their room ’cause they feel insecure or when they’re, they just got in a fight with their spouse.

Like, understand, we all go through this and the more we talk about it, the the simpler and, and more out in the open it becomes so then it’s not so scary. Like yes, I, I’ve battled that my whole life and that’s why now I’ve befriended Judy. She gets her own name, she gets her own status and she knows that we just work together.

Charles Eide: Yeah. She just wants to be heard. 

Renee Marino: She just wants to be heard. That’s it. 

Charles Eide: Doesn’t, you just make Judy feel heard. Yes. I 

Renee Marino: make Judy feel hurt. I’m like, I appreciate you. I know you’re trying to protect me from embarrassment, but I’m good. I got this. 

Charles Eide: That is so good. I’m gonna [00:52:00] find a really nasty name. You. Yeah, 

Renee Marino: like a nasty name.

Like, as you know, Judy, I’m always like, all right, Judy enough. Like when she, when I’m particularly like, impatient, I’m like, all right, Judy, 

Charles Eide: I’ve 

Renee Marino: had enough. I, I’ve had it. I, I gotta deal with this. Please be quiet. 

Charles Eide: Okay. I wanna rewind now because you’ve had a few really amazing life experiences. Yes. And I want you to tell me the story, ’cause I don’t know the whole thing.

Eventually you end up working with Clint Eastwood, but can you bring me from how that all came to be? 

Renee Marino: Yes. It’s such a good one. You guys get ready. I, I, I love this story so much because there’s just so many lessons in it. 

The Clint Eastwood Story [52:40]

Renee Marino: In 2013, I was on Broadway in the musical Jersey Boys about Frankie Val in the Four Seasons, and I was playing Frankie Val’s wife, Mary Delgado.

And it’s a Sunday afternoon. We’re at a matinee performance and I’m on stage with the girls and we’re singing My boyfriend’s back, can you gonna be in trouble? And I look out to the audience and [00:53:00] staring at me from 10 rows back was the legend himself, Clint Eastwood. And I’m like, oh, well that’s cool. You know, on Broadway you have a lot of celebrities and big names who come to see you.

So it wasn’t out of the ordinary. We meet him afterwards, he was so sweet. And about a couple days later we get word that Clint Eastwood is going to be directing the film version of Jersey Boys. And truth be told Charles, I I, I didn’t think twice about it because I was like, they’re gonna hire a A-list celebrities out of Los Angeles.

You know, Marissa Tome is gonna play my role of Mary. But then they start calling people in from our cast to audition. And an audition is just like an interview for those of you who don’t know the entertainment field and they’re looking for someone to play my role of Mary Alga. So at this point I’m like, well, huh, this would be so cool just to have like the chance to audition.

Right? So I talked to my agent and I’m like, let’s see if we can get me an audition. A few weeks go by, every [00:54:00] girl I know on Broadway is getting an audition for Mary Delgado. Now, just to give a little explanation of how the business works, so much of it is about your type, as they’d call it, right? Well, Mary Delgado, she’s a sassy girl from New Jersey, the feisty first wife of Frankie Val, sarcastic.

I’m like, she’s me. That’s not you. She’s kind of me. Okay, so it’s about your type. Yeah. So what I’m, explain what, what, and this is why the, the entertainment field is so, can be so challenging because it feels so personal as this is happening. Every girl I know who’s five nine and a blonde. Not Italian.

They’re all getting auditions for Mary Delgado. So I’m like, okay, waiting for my audition. My agent calls me one day. She’s like, Renee, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what the problem is. They said, they won’t give you an audition for Mary Delgado, but they’ll give you one for one of the smaller roles. One of the angels who sings my boyfriend’s back [00:55:00] now, Charles, I mean, really picture this.

I remember hanging up the phone and I was so disappointed and so confused because I’m like, okay, wait. Every girl, Sally Smith, right? I mean, girls who aren’t even close to Italian or from New Jersey are getting an audition and I’m playing the role at the highest level. I could be 

Charles Eide: on Broadway. On Broadway 

Renee Marino: and I can’t get an audition.

Like this is like the, this is the situation and I’m I, I kid you not, I’m sitting on my couch and I remember like looking up to God and I’m like, God, what are you trying to tell me? Like, are you telling me I’m not meant to be in this business anymore? ’cause something is wrong here, right? So I spent some time feeling my feelings, communicating with myself, if you will.

And then literally and figuratively, I threw my hands up and I said out loud, I go, what am I gonna do? I’m still gonna go in and audition for one of the angels. Day of the audition. The casting director says, Renee, would you like to sing my boyfriend’s back first or read the scene? And at that [00:56:00] moment, Charles, I heard this quiet little voice within say, you have to do this.

It feels too right. 

Charles Eide: It wasn’t Judy talking, 

Renee Marino: it wasn’t Judy. This was the real Renee. Judy was quiet in that moment. And, and by the way, Judy was only quiet because I do so much communicating with myself that I have learned to elevate that voice of who I really am. So I look at the casting director and I’m like, you know, Jeff, I was really hoping to come in and read for the role of Mary Delgado.

And he looks at me and I’m like, I’m like, what the heck is he gonna say? And he looks at me and he is like. I was just thinking the same thing. I’m like, amazing. Great. So he goes, and this is so funny. This is so funny. So then he goes, great. So you can do the, um, Angel’s audition today, and if you need some more time to practice Mary, you can come back another day if you want.

And in my head I’m like, oh, hell no. I’m doing this audition today. I am not leaving this building till I do this 

Charles Eide: audition. Now, were you ready for [00:57:00] that part because of your Broadway experience? 

Renee Marino: I mean, I’m gonna say yes, but I’m also gonna say anybody else will probably be like, no, I wanna practice it and be, make it perfect.

And I was like, hell no. I gotta show up. Right? Again, that element of showing up, even if it’s imperfect, I’m not gonna take the chance. What happens if I walk outta this building and then something happens and he can’t do my audition and then I miss my opportunity? No, and that’s all I could think about.

So I’m like, we’re doing it. We’re doing it. So I do the audition that day. I leave their feeling so grateful. That I got the chance, that’s all I wanted Charles to know, that when this movie came out, I would’ve known, I did everything I could, right? So I’m about to get on the subway. I was so happy I found a a, a church and I was like, you know what?

I’m gonna go in. And I lit a candle and I set a prayer and I was like, thank you, God. I’m just so grateful I got the chance. Go back to h Shows a week on Broadway. Two weeks later, my agent calls me. And by the way, I happen to be at my childhood home in New Jersey, down the street, like miles from where [00:58:00] the whole storyline of Jersey Boys takes place.

And I’m about to leave for my brother’s wedding. And it’s me, my mom, my dad, and my 90-year-old grandmother who lived with us growing up. I’m in my little childhood bedroom with like, do you remember the TV with the VCR in it? Oh yeah. Okay. So that’s what I had. And I go in the room and I pick up the phone and my agent’s like.

You are married, don’t go to win the movie. Clint Eastwood loves you. And I was like, what? Like, it was the most surreal moment of my life. And I’m screaming and I run outta my little bedroom crying. And my mom’s like, what’s the matter? And I’m like, I’m gonna be in a movie. And my dad’s like, calm down. And my mom’s like, oh my goodness.

And my 90-year-old grandmother’s like, I’ve been praying for this for years.

So cut to first day of filming now. Like, just picture this. Okay. Never te stepped foot on a TV or film set before I’d only just done theater. Completely different, medium. And here I am, [00:59:00] starting at the top. Like, I was like, what is happening? I’m gonna LA to film with Clint Eastwood on the Warner Brothers lot.

Like what is happening? So like all the butterflies, you know, were in my stomach as I’m like heading to the first day to film. And again, that little voice with him was like, Renee, you know what you’re doing. Clint Eastwood hired you, trust in your talent and leap. And I walked through the door that first day and like his whole team is so wonderful.

They’re like, Renee, welcome. And Clint walks up to me and he goes, you know, I went around to all the different casts, but nobody was in your class. And then you came in and put yourself on tape and it was the icing on the cake. And I’m like, oh my God. Like, I’m like trying to hold back to tears. And I’m like, they just did my makeup like so.

That first day of filming and every day that followed, when we were finished shooting for the day, I would sit and eat lunch with Clint Eastwood, ask him every question I could, and then listen in a complete [01:00:00] way. Because like I said, I’m a sponge and I like to use every opportunity I can to learn and to grow.

I would ask him everything, Charles, Clint, where are you from? Why did you start acting Clint? What does this camera shot mean? He even let me do one day. ’cause I was like, can you let me do the, the ta, the, the take numbers? So like I did the like, oh, 

Charles Eide: the clapper. The 

Renee Marino: clapper. That’s it. 

Charles Eide: Yeah. We got one right 

Renee Marino: here.

Yeah, I did. I, there’s a picture of me like with him, and it’s about a month into the film. I’m eating lunch with him once again because I’m Italian, okay? Eating is my thing. Clint, even one day was like, you got some appetite, kid. I’m like, I know Clint. This is my jam. I I, I’m a foodie. So it’s him, one of the producers of the film and myself, and they begin talking about how Clint knew he wanted me for the role when he saw me perform on Broadway.

Charles Eide: No way, 

Renee Marino: no way. So I put my fork down and I go, do you guys wanna hear a funny story? My God, I never got an audition for the role of Mary. The only reason I got to read the scene is because I opened up my big [01:01:00] mouth in the room and asked what Charles? The two of them, they look at each other, they look at me, they go.

What do you mean? We requested you? We said we want the girl from the Broadway show to come into this audition. Yeah. Imagine my surprise. I came to find out that day that there was a middle person casting associate juggling a few films at once and just dropped the ball on having me come into audition.

So in other words, if I did not have the ability to communicate effectively and speak up in the room that day, I could have missed my once in a lifetime opportunity. Like picture this, I could have been sitting in the movie theater watching Jersey Boys instead of on the screen in Jersey, boys never knowing that Clint Eastwood was waiting for me to walk through the door.

And I love this story so much because it’s about so much more than acting right. Most people would be like, oh, this is amazing. It’s a story about your big break. And I’m like, no, no, no, [01:02:00] no, no. Think about, because this happened now years later, I’m in the communication space. I’m an international speaker, writing books, getting to share this message that everything starts with communication and speaking up.

Is your superpower like, isn’t it crazy? Like, isn’t God so beautiful the way that how, how he works sometimes, like he put that in my life and made that situation happen because now I use this to help teach other people about missing opportunities. Like how often do we miss opportunities because we’re afraid to speak up because we let Judy, or George or Tom, whatever your voice is, we let that voice get in the way instead of the voice of our souls.

Charles Eide: I’m just sitting here trying to digest all this that’s like it was meant to be. Only if you had spoken up 

Renee Marino: like, look, I have chills. Oh, I have chills. I, it [01:03:00] was meant to be. But think about the hoops that I had to jump through to make it happen. Ready? I had to show up. I had to speak up. And I love this because even so many of my Broadway friends, they never knew this story.

Everybody just assumed, oh, well, Renee did it on Broadway, so she got the role handed to her. No, honey, like, you don’t know what I had to do. And I love it because I’m so grateful. And, and another lesson. So often we think those things that are hard, those trials, those tribulations, they’re trying to break us, but they’re trying to shape us.

And those are the greatest gifts in our lives. Because look, look at what that did for me. Like the fact that I get to share this story on your podcast and hopefully. Incite inspiration. And not just inspiration, but true transformation and action for people to say, yeah, what the hell do I have to lose?

Speaking up is my superpower. And guess what, if you don’t ask the answer, will will be no. And this is, I always like to share this as well. [01:04:00] Even if in that audition room I said, I’d like to read for the role of Mary, and the casting director said, sorry, Renee, we don’t, we have someone else in mind. Would it have sucked?

Absolutely. Would I probably have cried after the audition a little bit? I’m sure I would have. But would I had, would I have still always known and had pride in myself to say, Renee, you did everything you could do. You controlled the controllables. Wasn’t. If it didn’t happen, it wasn’t meant to be. And one of my greatest beliefs is that what’s meant for you will not miss you yet, just like I did.

You gotta show up like again, Matt, you were saying about manifesting. Manifesting and be like, I want this. I wish this. And then you’re like, cool. You gotta do like the gen to come outta the bottle. And you’re like, yeah, what’s up? I’m just kicking back in. Things are gonna manifest for me. You know, like you have to take the action, right?

You, I had to take the action of all of that. 

Charles Eide: Yeah. [01:05:00] 

Renee Marino: And that’s when the opportunities arise. And I really believe when we speak up, like it’s not just our right, it’s our duty. And speaking up can mean several things. Speaking up means sharing your thoughts and opinions in that meeting, or addressing a concern or asking a question or asking for what you want.

Just like I did 

Charles Eide: the speaking up part was you doing. Everything in your power to leave it all on the field. 

Renee Marino: I was like leaving it all on the table, babe, this is all I could do. And like you said, and I didn’t even think about that. That was a great point you brought up. Like, was I prepared for it? Well, I think in that moment, obviously I’d been playing the role.

It didn’t matter. It didn’t freaking matter. It didn’t matter what I’m, like I said, what mattered to me in that moment is I knew I could not live a life of regret knowing that I could have grabbed hold of an opportunity if I only spoke up. Like for me, that feeling of regret [01:06:00] would be like way worse for me than the scariness of speaking up.

Charles Eide: You’d live with it forever. 

Renee Marino: Oh gosh. I, I, I, I can’t even, to me, that is the worst feeling in the world. And that’s why for me, I’m, I’ll do it. Even if the answer’s no, I’ll be like, well, I tried, I did it. 

Charles Eide: It it, it’s. Did, did it feel like it happened quick? When you, when you had that feel like, did you go into the audition being like, I’m gonna ask him anyways?

Or did, did you, did you come up with that? Did you come up with that in the moment where you were like, I’m just gonna ask, or did you walk into it knowing you were gonna ask 

Renee Marino: him? No, I, I think I just walked in. Like I said, there again, there’s so many beautiful lessons in this because so many people let their ego take flight, take flight, take off you like, um, they let their ego be in charge.

Tr truly, I’m sure there are many people in my position who would’ve been like this, I’m not going in for an angel. I’m Mary on Broadway. Like, I’m playing [01:07:00] her. If you’re not gonna gimme that role, I’m not going in. 

Charles Eide: I’m not even an audition. 

Renee Marino: I’m not, oh, ab I know I can give you a list. Probably more like nine out of 10 people would’ve done that.

Charles Eide: Was there a part of you that 

Renee Marino: wanted to Never. Never, because I don’t, I egos like. We all have ego, don’t get me wrong, but for me, it’s not about that. For me, I believe the purpose of my life is to use and activate all of my God-given gifts. Otherwise, why did, why do I have ’em? Whatever it is. That’s why I was like, I’m gonna write a book.

I’ve always wanted to write a book. I’m gonna do that. Let’s try that. Ooh, I’m gonna speak, let’s try that. Because if God, if God instilled it in me, why would I not use it? Whether I become like the next big thing, that’s not what it’s about. So for me, even in that sense, I’m like, I just, no. If I have an opportunity to, to even be the second person from the left in a scene, I’m gonna go in.

’cause you know what? You never know What’ll happen, that casting director may look at me and say, we’re gonna put you in the front, like you don’t know. And that’s just always how my brain [01:08:00] works. So I didn’t do that. I went up and, and guess what, Charles? I showed up at that audition for the angel. A million percent prepared.

I practiced those scenes, I practiced that song. Right? So it’s not like I half-assed it and I was like, oh, I’m just gonna go in and ask it. Audition. I’m 

Charles Eide: doing you 

Renee Marino: guys a audition for favor by showing up. You’re lucky. No. Like I showed up just like I would for any audition. And that’s again, going back to what I said, like the power of showing up.

I see so many people half-assed their way through life, even when I was on Broadway, like, and we would be in rehearsal. Rehearsal to me is a show like I’m giving as much energy in the rehearsal as I am for the show. ’cause you wanna know why. Then when I’m on stage for the real thing, it feels the same.

’cause I’ve trained my muscle memory to do it. But not everybody’s like that. They kick back, they’re like, Ugh, I’m tired. It’s like, no. Like, you know how blessed we are to even be in a Broadway show? You know how blessed I am to have an audition for a film Like none of that’s ever lost [01:09:00] on me. And when you remind yourself of that, then it’s easy to show up.

Charles Eide: Yeah. Something you talk about a lot. Is energy. This is something you talk about a lot and you live it. I mean, you, you walked in here to say hi to our friend Jared. Yeah. And it was like, it was like a supernova, like came out, like you were just, I’m just so amazed with how you manage energy and how you use energy, but where do you get it?

Renee Marino: Mm. 

Charles Eide: Like, yeah. I’m like, geez, she’s always so like, is it, is it the Italian pasta? Is it 

Renee Marino: grandma’s? It’s lots of carbs. I’m not gonna lie. I love my carbs. Honestly, it’s, it’s, I love of life that I truly have. I feel, I mean, every one of my days, nights is led by gratitude. Um, I just feel so blessed, like, we get to live this life.

Like, how lucky are we? How many people are in, in circumstances that we could [01:10:00] not even imagine? So that’s number one. Um, number two, I. I’m like an Energizer bunny though. Like, I, I, that’s my authentic energy. But then you better believe, I’m like, I need eight hours of sleep. Like my friends know, I’m like a grandma.

I’m like, it’s nine 30. I need to go to sleep. Like, like, so like I’m very much like I’m on, but then I gotta recharge the battery. Like I love as much as I, I’m reach, I’m charged by people. The right people. Yeah. You know what I’m saying? Yeah. Like the, the right people with good energy, like charge my battery.

And then I love having alone time. Like I’m a big journaler. I, I really have to like, take that time to connect with myself. I start my days in prayer in priming. If you know Tony Robbins priming, um, medication, what is, can you tell me about Prim? Could, oh God priming. It’s 15 minutes. Anybody can do it anywhere, anytime.

That’s why I love it. You do it anywhere and basically Tony guides you through. A 15 minute practice where [01:11:00] it’s just all about gratitude, thinking of, uh, first he does like a breathing exercise. Then you think about like three moments in your life that you’re just so grateful for. Then you focus on like sending white light through your body and then sending it to the people you love.

And then the last part is imagining those three things that you want. Whether it’s to rock that podcast to really deliver value. When I go on stage in two days for my keynote, whatever it is, like just already believing that it’s there. And then you end it with like, just thinking of moments that you’ve had, like beautiful times with your husband or your wife.

Um, just it’s, it’s all about love and, and gratitude. And lemme tell you, when you are done, you’re like, you’re, you’re me walking in, you’re like flying high. Like what do you got for me life? You know? 

Charles Eide: Is, is there like a YouTube video or something 

Renee Marino: I can watch? Yes, absolutely. Priming. Just go to YouTube and type Tony Robbins priming and I’ll send you the Yeah, yeah.

Charles Eide: We can 

Renee Marino: put it 

Charles Eide: in the show 

Renee Marino: notes too. Yes. Oh my God. It’s you guys. It is like. It’s like a magic ingredient. I’m, I’m not even kidding [01:12:00] you. So I do that. 

Charles Eide: You do that every day? 

Renee Marino: Not every day, most days. Okay. Um, but now since I’ve, this year, I, I’m starting to read the Bible, um, and that’s part of my morning practice.

So I just, I believe I can have that energy because everything starts with. Within yourself. Yeah. I can’t have that energy with you if I don’t culminate it within myself. Yeah. I can’t communicate effectively with you if I don’t know who the heck I am. And I don’t com communicate or connect with myself.

Like everything starts with the self. And that’s also a missing link that we’re seeing in our world today because we disconnect from ourselves. ’cause when something’s going on, we don’t think about what do we do? We numb ourselves by streaming a show, a season of a show. We hop on social media, we scroll and compare.

We do all these things to distract us. But really the, the key is to get back to ourselves. And from there, that’s where the gold is. 

Charles Eide: Yeah. I don’t think my company would exist today had we had Instagram when I was in my teens. I just don’t think it would, I’m sure I started the [01:13:00] business when I was 18. But the amount of distraction that, that and I, that this is like the biggest detriment I think is it takes us away from focusing on.

Ourselves and our mission and our vision and where we’re going. It’s so bad. 

Renee Marino: It’s so bad. Could you imagine, I love this, this imagery in the book I talk about when I was in Italy, like one of the chapters I wrote while I was in Italy and like, oh God, talk about just being present. And that’s when I really recognized how much our phones just distract us in my everyday life.

I feel like my days go like this. I’m not kidding you. This is hilarious. Yesterday I had my dental cleaning and you know, I go every six months I get the notification for the appointment and I kid you not Charles. I was like, no, this has to be for my husband like this. There’s no way. It was six months. So I call up and they’re like, yeah, it’s your six month appoint.

I was like, are you kidding me? I feel like I was just there. So [01:14:00] like I’m laughing about this with the dental hygienist, but my point in saying this is. Digital technology has allowed us to speed up our minds, our lives. And when I was in Italy with my phone off, besides when I was taking photos, I felt like the days lasted for like three days in one day.

And I was like, huh, this is interesting. And then I go and I see the statue of the David, which when I think about it, it’s so breathtaking. And I think of Michelangelo creating this. Could you picture Michelangelo creating the David in this day and age, like he’s chiseling, you know, and then in the, in his back pocket, like his phone’s buzzing and the news is on talking about all the crap that’s going on and someone’s calling him and then he is getting a text.

He would never have been able to do what he did if he had all those distractions. Never. And that’s like, to your point, yes, I’m sure you wouldn’t have. And so much of what I’ve created in my life, I wouldn’t have been able to do. [01:15:00] If I was so, so much in my phone and my computer, like I was most effective with my book.

When I took three days to go away, a friend of mine let me use his beach house and I was like, to my husband, I love you. I can’t talk to you, mom, I love you. Can’t talk to you. And I just like went in and I was like, oh my God. This is what being in the flow really is. 

Charles Eide: Hmm. That’s so powerful. Okay, before we go, I want you to tell me about this masterpiece.

You put a lot of work into this. 

Renee Marino: I did. 

Charles Eide: This is, this is her book, it’s called 

Becoming a Master Communicator (The Book) [1:15:32]

Charles Eide: Becoming a Master Communicator, Renee Marino. 

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: Tell me about the book. 

Renee Marino: It’s, I’m, I’m so proud of it for so many years, like so many of us, I talked about wanting to write a book. Like I would tell everybody I’m gonna write a book.

And like so many of us, I, I think I believed that by speaking about it, it kept the dream alive in the arms of my words. Right. So if we just talk about it, we don’t actually have to put action behind it. [01:16:00] And I kid you not One night, it was the night before Thanksgiving, I was watching a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on the tv.

I kid you not fantastic. And I, Charles was so sick of hearing myself talk about it that I out loud, I was a grenade. Shut up and write the damn first line. And that’s how it started. Because I was like, enough, I, I can’t take hearing you and I start writing now, I had always, I’ve always been a writer. I write personalized children’s books for my nieces and nephews.

They all their own book. But like, I always wanted to write a proper, like traditionally published book. And I knew I wanted it to be about communication, but communication’s so broad, right? So which part of communication, and this was around 1819, 2000. 18, 19, where I was just seeing such a need for help in this area of like, I was in the dressing room with my girlfriends during a Broadway show and everyone’s like distracted and I’m like, huh?

And then I went to a restaurant with a girlfriend of mine. We hadn’t seen [01:17:00] each other and we’re chatting it up and next to us it’s a family of five parents, a teenage son, and two young kids under the age of six. And Charles, I kid you not for two hours, none of them spoke because all of them had their head down in a digital device.

And my heart sank because I thought to myself, they are missing out on these beautiful moments of connection to be tied to their screens. And the light bulb went off and I was like, this is what the book needs to be about. How do we balance these worlds of what I call new school technology with that old school simplicity because digital technology isn’t going anywhere.

Right. And now I’m thinking of actually doing a, um, an upgraded version to include AI proper, ’cause my book’s a little ahead of its time to be quite honest. Um, because the truth is it’s a tool. It’s a tool, but not the tool. And when we treat it as the tool of connection, that’s when we run into problems.[01:18:00] 

Charles Eide: Beautiful. How do, how do we get ahold of your book? 

Renee Marino: Yes. You can go on amazon.com, type in becoming a master communicator, or you can go to my website, renee marino.com and you can go from there. 

Charles Eide: Sure is a beautiful book. And you’ve got good old Clint Eastwood right on the front. I isn’t book it crazy 

Renee Marino: like what an honor.

I don’t think he’s done that for, for anyone. And the fact that not only did he give me an endorsement, but allowed me to put it on the cover. And I love it. ’cause it says, when it comes to helping you authentically communicate, Renee Marina was the woman to do that. And he said, I love, I love that phrase.

Renee’s the woman to do that. I was like, all right Clint, I love it. We’re doing it. 

Charles Eide: Let’s do it. You got Dean on the back here? Yeah. You have Russell Brunson. 

Renee Marino: Yes. 

Charles Eide: This is amazing. 

Renee Marino: Thank 

Charles Eide: you. So good. 

Renee Marino: Thank you so much. 

Charles Eide: Before we go, you have to tell me. 

What Do You Want to Be Remembered For? [1:18:48]

Charles Eide: What do you wanna be remembered for? 

Renee Marino: Hmm. For how I made others feel, I lit them up with joy and love and confidence [01:19:00] and I, I believe the quote that represents what I do and why I do it.

As a Maya Angelou quote, people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel. 

Charles Eide: Hmm. That is so true about you. You thank 

you. 

Renee Marino: You’re 

living 

Charles Eide: that every day. 

Renee Marino: Thank you. That means so much. 

Charles Eide: Thank 

Renee Marino: you. This was such a gift. Thank you so much. 

Charles Eide: I, I feel like I got so much out of this.

Renee Marino: I, this was awesome. Okay guys, round table. We’re doing take two. Just kidding. 

Charles Eide: We’re gonna just keep rolling for 

Renee Marino: another hours. Just keep rolling. Yeah. 

Charles Eide: Thank you for coming. Thank you. Sincerely. Thank you. I really appreciate it and I look forward to so many more successes with you. 

Renee Marino: Thank you so much. I’ll see you soon.

Charles Eide: If you like this episode of Cleared for Takeoff, make sure you leave a comment, subscribe, turn on notifications. Of course, share it with somebody that you think would love it, and of course, check out my company EideCom. We do events all over the country, and if you’re looking for the best team in event production, check out EideCom.com.